Oh, boy. One male contestant in a shearling jacket says, "Being sexy is 90 percent mental, 20 percent physical." I'm having that stitched on a pillow right after this.

JD's hair is so black, it's blue. I bet he uses the same dye as Veronica from Archie Comics. Anyway, it's another "face the judges and get ranked on" segment. Lorenzo asks a woman if the restaurant manager knows she stole a tablecloth to make her dress with. Of course not -- they'd never let her work there again! Randy asks a man to strip, and says the less he has on, the better it gets. He then asks the man drop his pants, and Rachel gets embarrassed. Rachel? You took the job, get over it. Randy says one girl has a "face for radio," and he's "not even talking FM." Are we talking MX Satellite Radio? He probably means pirate radio. Ahrr, that be some fine radio. Randy adjusts a female contestant, and Lorenzo whines, "How come he gets to touch 'em?" Because he doesn't have any restraining orders against him, slut. Rachel calls one man's hair "Milli Vanilli," and Randy corrects her: it's Bo Derek cornrows, straight up. But he's no ten. He may have an IQ of ten, but it's hard to say. Oh, all right. He has an IQ of ten.

Finally, we're in New York City. This should be hilarious. God knows there are millions of beautiful people in NYC (and L.A., too), but they have REAL JOBS in an industry. Like, you know, being a seater at a restaurant, or working in a bar. Rachel asks, "Where do these people come from?" They took the subway. Is that what you meant? A few contestants wiggle for the camera and are asked, "Do you do that for a living?" Most of them work in bars or supermarkets. And many of them are delusional enough to think they look like celebs. One guy thinks he looks like Paul Newman and Matthew McConaughey. I've been told I look like a lot of people, but you know what? I know I just look like me. One guy says he looks like Mary Kate and Ashley, and I love him for it.