And a third guy in a small bathing suit! We have a wiener! I mean, hooray for scantily-clad men. It's orange with trompe l'oeil to look like pockets and a fly. Randy asks what he has on under those trunks, and he flashes his ass (and also reveals that he's wearing a black jockstrap). Randy calmly writes down his score. First prize! First prize!
Oh, god. A very pretty brunette, Valerie, is told that Lorenzo has "a burrito cooking down south and it's almost ready." Oh, ew. Lorenzo Lamas, you are disgusting. Poor Valerie just says weakly that she's "ready for it."
And the bathing suits on the men just keep getting smaller! And I can't complain. One Mr. John K has the teeniest swimsuit of all. Speedo, woo! Rachel says that his nose is "rather wide." Do I even have to note that John K. is a black man? Jesus, this show is biased. It's crazy! Randy is happy because of the Speedo (Rachel says he's "been wanting one!"), but still gives him a 7.9 overall.
One black woman is told that her face (maybe it's the makeup) is darker then the rest of her body. Argh, argh. Other people get told to get haircuts or lay off the pec workouts.
Hey, it's Jameel. Rachel says that "it's great to see all these non-pretty-boy, non-blue-eyed boys out here." Wow, I just can't believe I'm hearing this.
Okay -- one non-white man gets 9 for his face and body, and 9.7 for sex appeal from Rachel. And even though he's wearing the biggest, longest board shorts ever, Lorenzo says it adds to his "mystery" and gives him 9s as well. So there goes my theory about AYH? being racist and stupid. Maybe it's just stupid.
Time to cut the sixteen down to eight. "Which four men and women have earned the right to face America's vote to advance to our semifinals?" Cue the music. Bamp bamp bamp bamp bamp bamp bamp bamp. First up for the men, Luciano, the man in the teeny-weeny trompe l'oeil swimsuit. Next is Ryan, the guy who had eyes that Lorenzo said radiated "sweetness." Next is Kevin, who had poofy hair and overworked pecs. Finally, Jameel!
Now, the women. Bamp bamp bamp bamp bamp bamp bamp bamp! First up, Chanteel, the woman who wouldn't take off her boots for Lorenzo. Next, Valerie. Then, Aeriel, the woman who didn't match her foundation to the rest of her body. And last, Wendy Lynne. She's the one who said she was in a head-on collision with a truck, and that's why her knees weren't to Randy's liking -- but she likes her knees just fine!