Wow, a new round of competitors from yet another region of our country have dared to enter this blistering competition. And what's at stake, you ask? Hotness. Or rather, validating the hotness of selected men and women. Why, I can't imagine anything more important, riveting, or timely. Ready? Okay.
Even our host, JD, looks worn out, and badly lit. He looks like a tanned skull, with a bronzed face and black holes for eye sockets. Oh, wait, before we move on to "Hot Zone 4," we get to see who the finalists are from "Hot Zone 3." The music starts up, BAMP BAMP BAMP BAMP -- and did I mention that I got a press release announcing that the composer for this series is available for interviews? His name is Shawn Clement, and apparently he's provided the most original scores for reality shows ever. Here's an excerpt:
Shawn Clement has scored more reality TV shows than anyone. For the prolific composer’s current project, the ABC hit series "Are you Hot? ", Clement combines electronica, techno and rock with orchestral elements to convey the feeling of the show. Clement explains, "The music for a reality show is often more intense than for other types of television. When a show is unscripted, the music plays an additional character that sets the emotions and adds to the drama of a reality show. " Clement also scored FOX’s “Stupid Behavior -- Caught on Tape" airing in March.
As a composer, Shawn Clement has defined a new musical genre for the reality format. His scores for top-rated network reality shows include: "World's Wildest Police Videos, " "World's Scariest Police Chases, " "Avoiding The Moment of Impact, " "When Good Pets Go Bad, " "The World's Most Amazing Videos, " "The World's Most ... ", and "The World's Scariest Ghosts. " Clement recently won the prestigious ASCAP Film and Television Award for his musical contribution in reality series.
Although Clement dominates this notable niche, it's one facet to a multi-dimensional composer. His music for "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" is a fan favorite for both score and song. ["Not according to our forums, it ain't." -- Sars] As a film composer, his projects have won festivals worldwide: "We Married Margo" starring Kevin Bacon, Cindy Crawford and Tom Arnold; and the indie film "Last Chance. " As a performer, he has played with Eddie Van Halen, B.B. King and Skunk Baxter.
Simply put, wow. You know what I love about this job? Besides everything, I mean? I love how TWoP keeps getting respect from people in the industry, even when we poop all over the shows. Sars, should I do an Extra with this guy? ["No." -- Sars] I mean, it's not like I didn't notice his work; I did. But if I have to pick my favorite suspenseful keyboard riffs, I think the guy from Let's Bowl would come ahead of Shawn Clement. Sorry, Shawn, I know you're an award-winning composer and all. I just really love Let's Bowl. Anyway, BAMP BAMP BAMP BAMP. Hey, Shipley Innis, you are hot. And so is Tony, a.k.a. FauxVin. Go, FauxVin! With your mono-racial self! Now for the ladies. BAMP BAMP BAMP BAMP. Amber Lancaster, you are hot. And lastly for Hot Zone 3, a blonde called Renee Russell. Congrats to the so-called hotties.