MasterChef

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: B | Grade It Now!
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Sous Chef? More Like Boo-Hoo Chef

Christ, we're deep into this show. Better hand out some more aprons. Bartender lee, rancher Josh, homemaker Christina -- you all get aprons. No time to explain why!

Avis, a 47-year-old caregiver to the elderly, is up next. She's from Louisiana. If you guess that she specializes in Cajun-style cooking, you are a very good guesser. She's also very pleasant and talks about the pleasure she gets from cooking for others and uses many quaint colloquialisms. And there is no doubt -- none -- that she is going to get picked. And yet, MasterChef does its level best to draw things out by having Gordon Ramsay hem and haw all the way through a commercial break before deciding that yes, indeed, her catfish aracata was A-OK.

We need to point and laugh at somebody again. Thankfully, Randy, a farmer, is on hand to serve what his mama called "funeral potatoes." The name comes from the fact that it is typically served at wakes after someone passes, by the way, and not because the dish will, in fact, hasten your demise. You might think it got its name from the latter after Randy pours a saucepan full of butter on top of his ingredients, which include mayonnaise, sour cream, and cheddar cheese. The final product is a plate full of awful -- a runny goo that one of the judges compares to a cow patty without being the least bit cruel. I'm not spoiling anything by telling you that Randy is sent away.

The pleasant female narrator informs us that almost half the aprons are spoken for, and yet we have time for only one more contestant. That'd be Faruq, who hopes to impress the judges with a baked macaroni and cheese dish. It looks promising for Faruq when Graham praises the way the top of the mac-and-cheese is browned, saying that it shows attention to detail. Gordon is less impressed, suggesting that Faruq taste the dish. "What does it need?" Gordon asks. The correct answer would be "seasoning," if you're playing along at home. It is not looking good for Faruq.

Before the triumvirate renders its judgment, however, Gordon would like Faruq to bring in his wife and ridiculously cute child from the waiting area. The wife blubbers about how much this means to her husband. Faruq tears up. It's like they're trying to belatedly season the macaroni and cheese with the salt from their tears. Gordon hands an apron to the cute kid; happy crying ensues. Next time, season your dish, Gordon reminds Faruq as he leaves. Or I'll curse at you in front of your wife and child.

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MasterChef

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