The group date heads to the beach, and Heather spends the date half flirting and half berating Fake Dean for his evil ways. Fake Dean really seems to think that he and Elizabeth are about to start making out, but he is pretty much delusional. As we cut to commercial, we see Elizabeth in the back of a limo. Was that an accidental spoiler? Or simple misdirection? Who cares! This show is stupid.
Back at The Bachelor Pad, Natalie has fallen head over heels in love with Peculiar Jesse, and they're already making out and picking out their edible body lube. Jesse only sort of cares that hooking up with Natalie could hurt his chances to win money. Juan and Gia watch Natalie and Jesse roll around and they rate their performance and decide that they would kick them both off. This is a competition after all! Out on Fake Dean's lone chance to be a Bachelor, Melissa Rycroft greets the foursome at the Greek theater. Fake Dean has to choose which girl gets the rose and will be safe from elimination, and who is getting sent back to Herpes Manor. Fake Dean misses out on his big chance to win Elizabeth over to his team by giving Jessie the rose. Elizabeth will make him pay for that affront!
Elizabeth and Gwen are sent home while Jessie and Fake Dean are serenaded by a washed-up '90s rock star who should really fire his agent. To top off Elizabeth's insult, when she gets back to the Bachelor Pad, love-of-her-life Jesse K. wants to talk. Some of the girls won't make out with him or let him mack on them because they think he is dating Elizabeth. So he has a plan: They should pretend they aren't dating so he can improve his chances with the other ladies. Strangely, Elizabeth isn't super-into this plan. Jesse K. doesn't get it, she's just being so emotional about this, when this is clearly a rational plan for the competition. After he makes out with as many girls as possible, he will totally hook up with her still, you know, later. Why is that not a good plan??
Elizabeth points out that if he is a total ass to her, her girlfriends might be convinced to kick him off. He tries to figure out if that is a threat, realizes it is, and then stomps off in a huff. He pouts to his bros, and they promise to kick Elizabeth off if she won't let him play the field. What a bitch, right? Meanwhile, Michelle decides to confront Tenley about spreading rumors about her and Fake Dean by locking her in the bathroom and screaming. Then she makes Tenley cry. No one makes a fairy princess cry and gets away with it in this house. Or on this channel.