So the date is to Madame Tussaud's wax museum, and Tony can't believe that he, just a regular guy from Oregon, is suddenly surrounded by all these celebrities, which makes me feel sad about Oregonians' ability to distinguish motionless wax statues from actual people. There's a section called "The Bachelor Experience" that features Chris Harrison. We're supposed to think it's a wax statue, which is why it's unfortunate that we see his hands in different positions in different shots. He gives the daters a good scare, though, and then tells him that they too are about to get up to all kinds of wacky hidden camera pranks after they get made up to look like statues too.

Back at the house, Jamie has decided to show Chris that she knows how to please a man, which ought to be rather instructive for the hypothetical kids she plans to have, since she says she wants to be able to show her kids (and all of America) how she fell in love. So she goes to Chris to offer himself up to him, and it turns out that what would really please Chris is if she leaves him the fuck alone. Just to be the biggest douche possible, he gives her a "It's not you, it's me" excuse, and she gives him a feeble tongue-lashing before slinking off to cry in her own bed, and I have to say there's much less dignity in it when you have to climb up to the top of a bunkbed like an eleven-year-old, Jesus.

The daters are getting made up to look even more like statues than they already are, getting ready to scare the daylights out of some Bachelor fans. I think that's sad, given how empty their lives must be already.

Some of the fans are more easily fooled than others. There is discussion of the hotness of Michael and Rachel (who genuinely seem to be digging each other), but poor Tony gets a "who?" when the in-on-it photographer asks a fan what she thinks of Tony. When she's reminded who he is, she says he was OK, and asks what the "nicer word for pathetic" is. If anyone has any idea who Nick is, we don't get to see it.

In an utter non-surprise, Rachel gives Michael the rose, which Tony calls an utter mistake. Why that is, I'm not sure, but it may just be because he'd rather be making out with Rachel than riding home in the limo with "Mr. Protein Powder." Who? Oh, Nick. I still don't know who Nick is.