Bachelor Pad
Episode 303

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No Good Reid Goes Unpunished

Anyway, David is the winner, beating Michael by a second, so he's safe (along with Rachel). The always-opportunistic Blakeley immediately starts campaigning for a spot on the reward date, reminding him (and us) that she picked him for a date last week, which she tries to pretend was a big magnanimous gesture as opposed to a gamble that she hoped would pay off just as it is now.

The date card arrives: "This is a night to remember. Choose the three women you'll never forget," reads David. He picks Blakeley, acknowledging her selection of him for a date last week. Then he picks Erica R. You might remember that Erica R. has been the most vocal in her opposition to fans being part of this competition? Well, surprise, surprise, she seems to be all turned around on the subject, and says David has gotten smarter since he started the competition. David also picks Jamie, and Chris could not be happier about that. With Blakeley and Jamie out of the house, he's free to piss off EVEN MORE women!

So the date is this fucked-up prom nightmare, in a ballroom replete with dance floor, photo area. The women select from a rack of dresses, with Blakeley wondering if David is more of a boob or a butt guy. Considering that the chests of Erica and Blakeley clearly cost more than my first car, they'd better hope he's not a butt guy. The women manage to display less maturity than high school students while they get dressed, David standing around on the dance floor waiting. Just the usual "I'm not going to be a bitch, I don't know about you" bullshit. Blakeley's not there for love or for friends, clearly.

Meanwhile, Reid has decided that he'll keep messing with Ed to keep him off balance. Messing with Ed's head isn't exactly a Mensa-level challenge, and you do feel kind of bad for him when he tells us that Reid is one of his friends in the house, although that interview could have been shot at ANY time, like before the competition actually started. Regardless, Reid acting like he's some kind of stone-cold Machiavelli is a bit much. Putting one over on the likes of Ed and Chris isn't going to qualify him for evil-genius status any time soon.

Then "prom" starts up, and the less said about it the better. There is awkward dancing, awkward photography, and a forgettable new-country band warbling away on the stage. Blakeley and Erica look perturbed that David is "kissing on" Jamie, according to Blakeley.

Back at the house, everyone else is getting drunk, so now it's Ed's time to shine. He staggers off to bed with Jaclyn on his back, and talks about how he's not wearing underwear, and then fills the house with his animal shouts, ending with, "What was your name again?" If Chris got up to any of his promised high jinx, we don't get to see them.

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