Bachelor Pad
Episode 303

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
No Good Reid Goes Unpunished

At the prom, Jamie lays out the sob story for David about how she didn't go to prom because it was around that time in her life that her mom started disappearing for a weekend at a time. Either David is rather incurious or already knows a fuller story, because he doesn't ask for any explanation, but he clearly feels he should give the rose to Jamie, what with her already having one vote against her.

This pisses Blakeley off, who seems to equate her having picked David for a date last week with him OWING her a rose this week (even though you'll recall she didn't give him one), and strongly suggests to him that he give it to her, trying to convince him both by implying she's in grave danger of being kicked off and also by appealing to his sense of duty.

He looks like he's genuinely afraid of Blakeley, but when a card at prom instructs him to pick his single prom date, he chooses Jamie, and sends Erica and Blakeley home in the limo. Blakeley threatens (not to his face) to go back to her alliance, and David had better HOPE he wins every challenge from here on out.

The next day, it's Rachel's turn to read a date card: "Choose three guys to get famous..." She reads. She picks Nick. I don't know who that is. Also, Tony. I don't know who that is. And then Michael. He tells us he's excited, and says meeting someone like Rachel is the reason he came back to Bachelor Pad. Chris is, happily, rather disbelieving that Rachel managed to resist the Awesomeness That Is Chris.

So the date is to Madame Tussaud's wax museum, and Tony can't believe that he, just a regular guy from Oregon, is suddenly surrounded by all these celebrities, which makes me feel sad about Oregonians' ability to distinguish motionless wax statues from actual people. There's a section called "The Bachelor Experience" that features Chris Harrison. We're supposed to think it's a wax statue, which is why it's unfortunate that we see his hands in different positions in different shots. He gives the daters a good scare, though, and then tells him that they too are about to get up to all kinds of wacky hidden camera pranks after they get made up to look like statues too.

Back at the house, Jamie has decided to show Chris that she knows how to please a man, which ought to be rather instructive for the hypothetical kids she plans to have, since she says she wants to be able to show her kids (and all of America) how she fell in love. So she goes to Chris to offer himself up to him, and it turns out that what would really please Chris is if she leaves him the fuck alone. Just to be the biggest douche possible, he gives her a "It's not you, it's me" excuse, and she gives him a feeble tongue-lashing before slinking off to cry in her own bed, and I have to say there's much less dignity in it when you have to climb up to the top of a bunkbed like an eleven-year-old, Jesus.

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Bachelor Pad




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