Bachelor Pad
Episode 303

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
No Good Reid Goes Unpunished

Oh, good! Another Reid-Ed confrontation! Let it never be said this isn't the tightest two hours on television. Ed is all "blah blah blah" but then Reid is all "blah blah blah" and now we watch Sarah voting, and we know how conflicted she is. She seems to have forgiven herself for voting for bed-partner Ed, and seems to want to be ruled by Reid's iron fist now. She's all "blah blah blah" as she looks at the pictures of the men.

So everyone gathers in the courtyard/driveway for the ceremony. Michael, David, Rachel and Jamie are safe, and David and Rachel step forward to hand out the roses, as is their due as winners of the competition.

Ed talks some more about betrayal and how he values people more than anything, which is funny considering he admitted earlier that some of the tabloid allegations of his womanizing were true.

Let's begin! Erica. Kalon. Lindzi. Chris. Sarah. Tony. Jaclyn. Nick. I don't know who that is. We take a long time to get down to what we already knew were going to be the two matchups: Reid vs. Ed, and Blakeley vs. Donna.

Blakeley and Donna are holding hands, and Blakeley drops Donna's hand the second Blakeley's name is called. Ed and Reid are not holding hands, and it's not the biggest surprise when Ed's name is called. Jaclyn can't let things go without a pissy lecture about how they need to reevaluate how they're playing, what with the rampant dishonesty. Jaclyn has seen reality show competitions before, right?

Reid and Donna head to their separate limos, with Reid throwing out a pathetic offer to talk to Donna, which she ignores/doesn't hear. On the ride away, Reid admits to feeling like a loser, largely due to losing to Ed again. Donna is a little less analytical about her exit, and is confused that her breasts didn't keep her around: "When I'm not around in my bikini, they're going to be pissed," she says, forgetting that there isn't a woman in the house unwilling to wear a bikini for our entertainment.

Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. He proposes that any reality-show contestant who refers to competition as "betrayal" or "backstabbing" be immediately ejected. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at

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