Bachelor Pad
Episode 306

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
Sleeping Bee

So Chris and Sarah have to spell "serendipity." Kalon rolls his eyes. Chris and Sarah successfully do so, and they jump around and hug each other. Awesomely, Blakely is actually in tears, while Chris Harrison explains they'll enjoy an overnight date away from the Bachelor Pad, and Harrison says he knows they'll enjoy that, mainly because they won't get murdered in their sleep tonight. Ed and Jaclyn get an overnight date too, for being runners-up, but no roses. Kalon tells us that with Chris and Sarah's immunity, that means the Alliance is going to have to break down and there's no way for them all to remain friends. Blakely feels like Chris is going to come after her.

In the limo on their way to the date, Sarah says she never thought they'd win. "I did," says Chris, and Sarah wonders if that means they're the smartest people in the house, which is like asking if you're the best hockey player in Guam. My yellow screen of death earlier prevented me from seeing that the gang apparently arrived in a school bus and now have to ride it, now layered down by much more self-pity and dread.

Now Chris and Sarah are in a plane, Chris's declaration of their being the smartest couple in the house undermined by the way he talks about how "me and Sarah [sic] just kicked ass in the spelling bee". He then declares it National Chris and Sarah Day. Eh, if it's a day off work, I vote it gets extended to Canada too.

Then they arrive in some sort of old-timey village with an old-timey train. It's a very slow train, which unfortunately gives the two of them plenty of time to blather at each other about how awesome they are and how awesome this is. Sarah tells us she thinks Chris is amazing and she's really falling for him, which makes me feel quite sorry for her, especially since he's talking about how he still has some feelings for Emily. Is he under the impression that she was ever actually interested in him?

They go strolling through a field to a picnic by a lake and they of course just happen to have their bathing suits on underneath their clothes, so they strip down and yell "Serendipity!" and jump in the lake, and Chris IMMEDIATELY starts talking about how cold the water is, totally laying the groundwork for a shrinkage excuse later on.

Back at the house, Rachel is moaning about Michael being gone, Sarah and Chris winning. Jaclyn thinks she's a "stage seven earthquake," whatever that is, but since Rachel is an utter mess and nobody knows who Nick is, Jaclyn starts sounding out the rest of the alliance about possibly voting them out. Everyone seems non-committal about this, but obviously everyone would rather Nick and Rachel rather than themselves.

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Bachelor Pad




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