Bachelor Pad
Episode 306

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
Sleeping Bee

Rachel and Nick have a discussion about it, and Nick, getting more screen time he's had in five previous episodes total, is worried that Rachel being checked out means he's in danger too.

And now Chris and Sarah are in some fucking barn somewhere, and Sarah has clearly been coached to ask him about past relationships (i.e. Emily), and Chris feels it was "very brave" of her to ask him, and he likes to talk about it since "it's a healing process that helps me heal." So their relationship is going well, if anyone cares. Sarah at least understands everyone else thinks Chris is a shithead, but she says she gets to see sides of him that no else does. Sarah, "penis" is not a side.

Back at the house, I can only assume that all the other women in the house are at the "Rachel, we love you, but GET OVER IT" stage. She, Jaclyn and Blakely are chatting, and Jaclyn seems to be over her inkling towards voting Rachel and Nick out, but is gravitating to Kalon and Lindzi, mainly because she trusts Rachel more (also, Rachel is a basket case which may make her easier to beat?). Jaclyn tries to justify it by saying she, Blakely and Rachel have "invested" more into the show, whatever that means. And they pinky-swear that they're all going to get rid of Lindzi and Kalon. Well, that's three of five couples (assuming the menfolk listen to the wimmin), which would do it. You know, unless the show just changes the rules at the last moment.

Back at the barn, Sarah is babbling about how what they have is so much more special and unique from what anyone else in the house has. I hate to point out to Sarah that she's girlfriend No. 3 for Chris THIS SEASON. She seems so genuinely into him that I almost feel bad for her, and then she talks about how she just wants to get rugged and sexy with Chris in the barn, and then I start hoping for some kind of horrifying accident involving farm machinery.

And now it's Ed and Jaclyn's turn for an overnight date, and I'm convinced that the overnight date was conceived the second Ed and Jaclyn came second, to exploit some more "Ed's just not that into Jaclyn" drama.

Anyway, with the rest of the house looking on awkwardly as smitten Jaclyn and not-into-it Ed leave on their date. They fly around the California coastline, looking at islands, while we're forced to listen to Jaclyn's lamentations on getting her heart broken. I mean, by this point, Ed has explicitly said he's not interested in a romantic relationship with her. She tells us she's scared Ed will hurt her. "Will" hurt her?

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Bachelor Pad




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