Kovacs and Elizabeth are dancing the Rumba. Elizabeth is wearing a matador inspired embroidered bikini with a scarf, an ensemble I assume she brought with her in case she needed to enrage a bull at some point during the competition. Unfortunately it doesn't enrage Kovacs and they deliver an incredibly gawky and lackluster performance. The judges are strangely complimentary considering it was The Dance of Awkward. But even with the kindness of the judges they clearly couldn't compete with Kiptyn and Tenley. Chris Harrison trots out with a blazing hot iron and brands them LOSERS. They hunker in the corner hoping Natalie and Dave look worse than they do. Natalie may look worse in her all-fringe ensemble and Dave, who eerily has no chest hair to show off in his very, very low-cut V-neck satin thing, but they have far superior dance skills. It's all in the hands of the judges now. Melissa gives them a 9, Jakes gives them an 8, and then everyone turns to stare at Trista. She gives them an 8 meaning: Tenley and Kiptyn win! In glee, Tenley does the whitest cabbage patch dance ever. Kiptyn probably paid off Trista. I mean, things must be pretty dire back in Colorado for Trista to come out of Bachelor retirement. Chris Harrison reminds Tenley and Kiptyn that they get to pick the couple who will join them in the finals. Tenley is too busy pretending she is The Happiest Girl on Earth to show Bachelor Jake what he lost. Oh Tenley, after ten minutes with Vienna Girardi, Jake knew he should have chosen you. Later, everyone has the sulks except for Tenley and Kiptyn who are sitting in a bathtub with their bathing suits on. Yes kids, that's how grown ups bathe.
Episode Report CardLuluBates: A+ | 1120 USERS: B-
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