Sure enough, Kalon is the next to show up, eye-rollingly (because it's so contrived) treating Chris Harrison like a valet, handing him the keys and breezing by. He and Erica have a discussion about tabloid appropriateness, and I guess she complained because he criticized her for running around naked somewhere? Or something? Ugh, who even has the energy.

And then the fans start to arrive, with Donna arrive (her breasts arriving a few minutes sooner) and she hyperventilates at meeting Chris Harrison and his saying of her name. Inside, the veterans are discussing the imminent arrival of the fans. There is a strange hostility to the fans, with no one pointing out that first, without the fans, NONE OF THEM WOULD ENJOY THE D-LIST FAME THEY HAVE and second, it's not like any of them had to achieve anything special to earn their first ticket on the show. Part of Sarah's problem is Donna's "slutty dress" with her boobs out. Hey, leave Donna alone!

Chris SWAT swings on in, as does Paige, who does play the babbling dingbat that Rachel was worried about. Erica doesn't see Paige as a big threat, and Jaclyn mocks her dressing. The other guy contestant shows up, and then it's time for Brittany and Erica to be let off the leash. Chris tells them they'll be competing as one unit, and mocks them to their faces because they're too dumb to know so. "There's only room for one set of twins in this house, and it's not those two girls," says Houston Erica, touching her breasts.

Things escalate quickly, with a drunken Ed stripping down to his underwear and jumping in the pool, and he gets scolded by Sarah, all "We get it, you have a big dick and you're funny," and she orders him to pull himself together when Harrison comes in to call everyone to a meeting.

Ed can't even sit through Harrison's explanation of how the competition works before running out to jump in the pool again. Harrison looks like he's doing his best to not appear angry as he goes to fetch Ed so he can explain how the women will be voting off the men and vice-versa, and they've got to pair up. Some of the couples: Chris is with Blakeley (who goes instant Lady Macbeth on him), Kalon winds up with Donna and Jaclyn gets saddles with Ed, who is worried much less about any competition and much more about getting someone to turn the heat up in the hot tub.

The next morning, a hungover Ed snoozes by the pool while Jaclyn tells herself that maybe the upside is no one is really going to consider a drunken buffoon like Ed a threat. Erica R. notes that fans Dave and the twins are partners, so it would be ideal if they lost because they'd lose three fans from the house already. She's also said that a veteran teaming with a fan would be like sleeping with the help, so I can't exactly consider myself sorry that I didn't see her season.