Bachelor Pad
Season 3, Episode 1

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
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First Impressions Are the Breast Ones

...especially since they win some sort of fantasy date.

They go on a boardwalk date, riding rollercoasters and Ferris wheels, and everywhere they go reminds Dave of some date from the show, while the twins don't seem to remember anything beyond the previous week, but they remember Courtney taking her clothes off during Ben's season, so they strip down to their bathing suits, which turn out to be largely unnecessary, and go running into the water.

Back at the mansion, Blakeley is talking strategy with Chris, which really means she's lecturing him on keeping his eye on the prize. Since Chris didn't come here to be ordered around by no skirt, he's more than happy later to accept Jamie's invitation to go somewhere private and talk, which quickly winds up a makeout session, interrupted when Jaclyn tattles on them to Blakeley, and Blakeley bust in to break it up. Blakeley starts sniping at Jamie, who gives it right back to her, and in a talking-head, Blakeley cries about how disappointed she is in Chris for letting her down.

Speaking of being let down, Erica R., with a target on her back now, is the focus of a campaign by Dave and the twins for elimination. With their immunity, they feel it's a good time to knock off one of the vets, and Dave is cocky enough to be honest with Erica when she sidles up and asks them who they're talking about eliminating. Chris SWAT is less than happy about Dave's forthrightness, because he's the only vulnerable guy fan.

Erica R. goes crying to Michael and Kalon, who assure her that everything's going to be OK, giving her the confidence she needs to stroll out to the pool and drawl some barely junior-level insults at him. He is an "ugly loser" who doesn't deserve to be here, what with him being a fan.

And the fact that the cocktail party is starting with half-an-hour left means you know we're in for endless scheming. Michael amusingly gets giddy while explaining how the show works, while Chris gets his dander up at those uppity fans. "This is our house, our show," he tells us, forgetting he's actually been at the mansion exactly as long as the fans have. Reid and Paige agree to stick together, making it difficult on him when Michael tells him everyone's voting for Paige. It was either her or Donna, explains Michael, who kinda commendably doesn't bother to pretend the decision had to do with anything other than Donna's capita knockers, which she's promised to cover as little as possible during her time in the pad.

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Bachelor Pad

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