Bachelor Pad
Season 3, Episode 2

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Twinning Isn't Everything

And then he gets mad at David for painting a rose on his racer and helmet, which he thinks is desperate.

Back at the house, Erica R. and Sarah discuss the possibility of David earning tonight's rose. Erica R. thinks David is craftier than he's been given credit for (of course, Erica R. has been the fans' biggest detractor). There is a talking-head where Erica R. says everyone's surprised at how long David has lasted. Given this is THE SECOND EPISODE, why don't we assume that this actually comes from a little later in the season?

Over at Date of Thunder, the racers line up, and David tells Chris, "I'm going to take you from the rear, no pun intended," and I have no idea what Chris thinks that means.

As it turns out, Ed wins. The race is over fairly quickly, which is great news, because that means we're not forced to watch too much of the horrifying hoodcam, which shows the racers' faces up-close and flappy. Dave's a little bummed that he lost to Ed, who doesn't give a shit about anything other than where his next drink is coming from, but he vows to win tonight's rose.

So they head to the individual home (the one the Bachelor/ette stays in when they're filming, unless you throw a tantrum and insist you stay in Charlotte for the show) for the after-party. Blakeley suggests they get "racy" and is it possible that she didn't realize the "racy" reference in the date card was for the soapbox derby?

Anyway, while Dave wheedles his way into Blakeley's good graces by promising her his vote, Ed and Chris talk about whether Chris is really into Blakeley or not. And he's such an unconvincing liar that when she asks him directly about whether he's with her or not, she tells him not to be a smart-ass when he responds by saying he'd be happy if the two of them were in an eight-by-eight storage closet. In the end, despite her reservations, Blakeley gives Chris the rose, which is only going to make Chris's ego problem worse.

And now it is time for drunken shenanigans! There is champagne, women kissing each other, Lindzi snuggling with Kalon, Dave making out with one of the twins (I don't think even the twins know which one is which) and then Ed is, unsurprisingly, drunk off his ass again. "It could be strategy, but who knows?" says Lindzi. How getting bombed is a strategy is beyond me, but it impresses Jaclyn, because she is easily impressed, and she says Ed has "personality fo' days, yo." This is a thing she says. It's at the sad point where Sarah looks around and worries that she will seem pathetic if she's the only woman in the hot tub who does not hook up.

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Bachelor Pad

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