Bachelor Pad
Bachelor Pad

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | 178 USERS: C+
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Hold Me, Thrill Me, Chris Me, Kill Me

Anyway, who said the number of guys she's slept with is "Eleven, no, twelve, no, nine"? Turns out it was Blakeley, who says lied. Since you kinda figure "nine" would make her the prude of the house, I do believe her. And then Harrison asks a question about "making whoopee" and it turns out Sarah fucked a guy on top of a car in a public parking lot, and big surprise that Ed knows about it. Who said she would rather sleep with Chris instead of her current partner because he's so hot? Surprise, surprise, Jamie. Blakeley makes a "who farted?" face. Jamie is also the one who said Jaclyn is the most fake. Jamie tries to save face by telling Jaclyn that they'll take about why she said that. Then it's, who said Jamie is the most annoying? Jamie jovially tells Jaclyn that she hopes it was her, but of course it was Blakeley.

So now we're finished with the questions, and you notice that the questions were shitty and awkward for the women when both the women and men were being asked them, and you get kind of depressed all over again about how awful this show is. Anyway, Ed and Jaclyn "won," but I don't know that "won" is exactly the right word. Meanwhile, David and Rachel lost (more than everyone else did).

Jamie is in tears in a talking-head because there's a target on her back now because she was so honest. She confides in David, and then Kalon, who displays his usual winning personality and compares her to a dog whose head you pet before you put it down.

Meanwhile, Blakeley confronts Chris about cheering for Sarah, and Chris complains that this is like junior high, although it's worth pointing out that he is horndogging after and cheering for pretty much any woman but his own partner. I mean, Blakeley may be annoying, but that doesn't mean she's wrong.

So there is some pre-date maneuvering going on, and Sarah is saying stuff, but who can be bothered to listen? Sarah gets annoyed when Jaclyn chooses Ed, and says Jaclyn is confusing having a partner on the show with having a life partner. That is way more pathetic, Sarah seems to want to believe, than believing you've got dibs on someone by sleeping with him a full day earlier than Jaclyn did, or something. Jaclyn says he's her partner and she likes him.

Bachelor Pad

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