Bachelor Pad
Season 3, Episode 4

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
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Hold Me, Thrill Me, Chris Me, Kill Me

So! Sarah. Kalon. Lindzi. Michael. Erica. Tony.

One rose left for a woman, one for a man. Chris smirks. Nick's name is called first, and then Chris stops smiling when Blakeley's name is called. "My two best friends in the house lied to me," Chris whines. This may be my favorite aspect to shows like these: when a liar whines about being lied to. The lack of self-awareness is always deeply satisfying for me. "Now it's like, I don't trust anybody," he says. Blakeley, meanwhile, is cheered by what she sees as a vote of confidence from the alliance for her over Chris.

Oh, but Jamie's got something to say to Chris, that he's sleazy and he's going to regret his actions. It's especially galling to him to be called out like this, since he tried to have Jamie kept tonight, so he dismisses her with an "On your way." Michael tells us Chris is in trouble, and if he doesn't win next week's challenge, he'll be going home.

David, being a fan, almost seems honored to be making the same exit he's seen a hundred others make. He wouldn't change a moment of it. "I really did not deserve this experience, and I got to have it," he says, and he chokes up, and it's weird because it appears he's crying tears of gratitude for having had the chance to share the rarefied air of the others.

Jamie says she got used, and she thought she had a good chance at winning. Eventually, she hangs her head, and you know that's when the tears come.

Back at the house, Blakeley leads the survivors' toast. Chris can't be-LIEVE she survived his fiendishly clever assassination attempt. She's a ticking time bomb, he figures. As opposed to Chris, who is so emotionally balanced and secure, I imagine.

Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. He thinks David is wrong: Whoever goes on Bachelor Pad gets exactly what he deserves. (Except when they get money.) Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel@gmail.com.

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Bachelor Pad

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