Bachelor Pad
Season 3, Episode 8

Episode Report Card
Daniel: A | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Forget It, Rachel. It's Bachelor Pad

She accuses him of being heartless. "I don't owe this to anybody. You weren't on board to be my partner," he says. Apparently they agreed a couple of days ago to share the money. She yells at him, calling him pathetic, because there's nothing more noble than chasing backstage after someone who bested you in a stupid reality show and yelling at him (although I assume she was goaded into doing so by a producer). His parting words are "I played this game brilliantly" and then he's off in a limo, all "BP3, anything goes!" and laughing to himself, Rachel sniffling alone backstage in the dark, tinkling piano of doom playing out.

And you know why the audience cheered? Because Nick was right. Because all the decrying of lying and betrayal on this show and others (like Survivor, for example) is such patent nonsense. Why on earth did Jaclyn feel Rachel should have taken her to the final? So Rachel could either a) BEAT HER THERE or b) lose to her?

Happily, the credits are a montage of people talking about how Nick isn't very smart, doesn't play the game well and doesn't deserve to be there. Oh, Jaclyn. If "deserve" played into it, pretty much all of you would be in jail for the murder of brain cells. Instead you just went on television for a while. I suppose I could go back and count all the times I made an "I don't know who that is" joke in regards to Nick, but ... nah.

Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. This may be his favorite season finale since the last episode of Six Feet Under. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel@gmail.com.

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Bachelor Pad

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