The competition among the ladies is fiercer, since Elizabeth, Natalie, and Tenley each sacrificed their virtue and entered each other's disease vectors in their attempts to win. But instead, it's a dark horse who takes the laurels. It's Peyton! The quiet, all-American girl with an angular nose and penchant for athletic footwear! She is the quintessential good girl, thus proving that in the virgin-whore contest, sometimes the virgin wins. And since this is Bachelor Pad, we are using "virgin" in the broadest possible terms. Dave and Peyton are both safe and are going on dates. A date! Dates mean more opportunities to swap spittle and, hopefully, mainline broad-spectrum antibiotics.

Date Card! Dave gets to take three lucky ladies to the venereal disease capital of the world, Las Vegas! I lie, the venereal disease capital of the world is Cedar Rapids, Iowa, but that's too far for a day trip. Dave decides to grace grandma Nikki, self-professed ho bag Natalie, and Krisily, who exists, apparently, with his presence on his group date. Everyone is confused by his choices, but none so much as Nikki. They all pile into a private jet and fly to a... nude pool in Vegas. Krisily stares at the pool, but won't take her top (or her Bump-It) off to win Dave's love or the Rose of Immunity. However, she does profess to having the hots for Dave after their naughty tongue tango. She wants some alone time to figure out whether he knew he was making out with her because of all the sparks flying. Natalie ruins Krisily's quality alone time with Dave, by springing gazelle-like over the patio furniture. Then Natalie takes off her top and swears she loves Dave long time. Even though she swore she loved Peculiar Jesse just last week. Natalie makes me feel sad. Also old. Also also, disease-free.