Bachelorette
Bachelorette

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D+ | 861 USERS: C+
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Everybody Farts

Back at the outhouse, the guys discuss Jason's bombshell. Sean and his mullet say he's had several girlfriends with kids, and it's not a big deal. Twilley figures it might not be a main factor, but could be a tiebreaker-type thing. Like if she likes two guys equally, doesn't she go for the guy without a kid?

Back at the observatory, Jason and DeAnna head inside for a fireside dinner in the observatory's library. She asks what he likes to eat, and he says the big, fat cheeseburgers his mom makes. "You miss your family?' she asks him. "Um, it's funny you ask that," he says, gallantly not drawing attention to the cue card off-screen that says ASK HIM ABOUT HIS FAMILY. He says there's one thing she doesn't know about him. "The most important thing in my world is my three-year-old son," he says. "Oh, wow," says DeAnna brightly. You know, not that "whaaaaa?" face that the promos kept pretending was her reaction. She encourages him to talk about Ty, and Jason relaxes, and then eventually pulls out some pictures for her to coo over. In fact, DeAnna seems more surprised to learn that Jason was married before, but doesn't think that's a big deal either. "We're all here because things happened," she says, which is totally an oblique reference to Brad.

DeAnna then talks about her mom dying of cancer, and watching her die. It's more genuine than anything on this show ever, and makes all the rest of it seem even more like bullshit, so I'm not going to make fun of it. "She may be passed away, but she's still a big part of my life," she says, adding that she's never dated a guy who's cared to know anything about her mother. So you date arseholes, is what you're saying.

And so, because the two of them opened up to each other and are now all bonded, she gives him a rose, and then the roof opens up so they can look at the stars. "It was literally something you'd only see in a movie," says Jason. What, stars? What the hell or you talking about? Then, to prove they're looking at the stars, we look at still photographs of stars. I swear to god. He asks if it would be inappropriate to kiss her, and she says no. So they do.

Isn't two hours up yet?

The next day, DeAnna says, "I'm taking them to meet someone very special to me," says DeAnna. Is it Brad? I bet it's Brad.

Bachelorette

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