Meanwhile, back at the outhouse, the men are shocked to see Richard's bags heading out the door. "See whose bags are disappearing out the fucking door?" says someone, I think Jesse.
"Part of you feels like a fool for feeling as much as you did," says Richard. "Part of you is destroyed." Then he needs to be bleeped. "I just was too much a friend, I guess." Which is what women tend to say they want, without adding, "but also really cut."
We see a long, lingering shot of DeAnna riding alone in the carriage, staring forlornly at the rose in her lap. She's really going for the "phoniest person on television" title, isn't she?
The guys open the date box, and it's full of cowboy boots and hats and "The guys are all pumped up and excited to go, and I was jealous," says Jason. "We got the big box full of fun clothes," says Brian. Jesse talking-heads that Jeremy is going to be the biggest competition, since he hasn't had to come down to the outhouse.
"Don't y'all look nice!" squeals DeAnna as the men arrive at some tourist trappy farm. Someone actually yells, "Git 'r done!" which ought to be grounds for elimination right there. "I'm looking forward to getting wild!" says DeAnna!
Oh, god, they're line-dancing. Nothing is more cowboy then standing in a line with a bunch of other dudes who are all doing the same dance moves you are! DeAnna really does know how to get wild! The only way this could be worse would be if the show started playing some cheesy banjo music -- oh, there we go.
Back at the outhouse, Jason's on the phone with his son. "I sacrificed the biggest thing in my life for love," says Jason, wondering if his son (who I'm starting to think might be named Colossal Bummer, the way he keeps getting talked about).
So the next non-cowboy "cowboy" thing they're going to do is ride a mechanical bull surrounded by a crash pad the size of a tennis court. The guys get bucked off very quickly. "The guys looked bad-ass," says DeAnna, but I think she means "they kept falling on their ass." Then she says she decided to play a little trick on the guys, which consists of her falling off the mechanical bull and pretending to be hurt. She's a terrible actress, though, and I guarantee every single one of the guys who came to her aid were thinking, "Are you serious? Suck it up, princess. "Jesse was the first to the rescue," she says, and his reward is getting some one-on-one time. I don't think "reward" means what DeAnna thinks it means.