Good LORD, are there a lot of people at this house! Mom, Dad, grandma, sister, her husband, and his nieces. One of the nieces gives Trista payola -- er, I mean, "gift" -- in the form of a bracelet that read "Punka and Trista." Apparently, "Punka" is their nickname for Russ. At dinner, Russ's sister Judy taboos and says, "I feel kind of rushed, because I feel like this is the only chance I'll have to meet you." Well, someone's been reading the spoilers. I'm kidding. I'M KIDDING! Whatever. Everyone knows who wins. Meanwhile, Russ's brother-in-law employs a segue I think will finally lead to some drama, prefacing, "Let me ask you this one question." Hmmm...do you thirst for attention no matter how misbegotten that attention is? Is this a play for love or a ploy for fame? If we submerge you in water, will you float? And if we light a match to you will you burn?
"If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would you do?"
Fuck, no! I'm looking for compelling television for the first time this hour (and a half), and we get the Gus Van Sant shot-by-shot remake of the first fifteen minutes of Heathers? Save me. Russ, on the spot, goes for the answer, "I've won the lottery with a family like you," which is kind of awesome. They drink to the sham of Trista's non-love for Russ, and Russ's Dylan-Baker-esque father hugs her for an exceedingly long time. Trista tells us in an interview that she does have feelings for Russ, and that she is just trying to be "in the moment right now." Russ might think he's more in the lead than he really is.
Back in The Middle Of Nowhere, we find Trista waiting for Charlie in what looks like the snow. They reunite with a hug, and Charlie tells us that he was "nervous" and "giddy" because he hadn't seen her in seven days. The limo pulls through the woods, and we repeat the meet-and-greet. Some of these family members may be starting to repeat themselves. Did anyone else notice Charlie's sister-in-law lingering around Russ's house nibbling on a chicken bone? Charlie's mom third-degrees Trista, and we learn that Trista moved to L.A. in May, which was "five months ago." Since Charlie's mother is also a lapsed physical therapist, Charlie guesses Trista and his mom will have a lot to talk about. Charlie's mother asks Trista if she'll go back to work when she's finished up with "these programs," and Trista notes, "No one can take my Masters away." You just watch the shamed University of Miami try it, dollface. She also notes that she misses "working with kids," adding her "love for babies" as the small child in the house wails every time s/he even looks in Trista's direction. Charlie's mother is finally the only one to half-snipe, "It's such a different field practicing therapy than when you're running around, having a good time." But she says it all with a smile, because WASPs don't need to yell to sting. She adds in interview that she'll support Charlie in his pursuing of Trista, "for Charlie if for nothing else." Help.