Bachelorette

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Here I Go Again On My Own

So soon enough, six bachelors will become four, who will take DeAnna home to meet their parents. And from here on out, there are no more roses to be handed out on dates. The bachelors are all going to Palm Springs. As always, mundane announcements provoke high-fiving. Twilley talks about how excited he is to get out of the Outhouse, and realizes he hasn't made the same connection the other bachelors have. So he's getting the "this reality-show contestant is so done at the end of the episode" edit.

Extra-special Palm Springs date box! "Sean: Let's take our relationship to new heights, love DeAnna." Sean is saying he'll be in the final four if the date goes well. And he talks about how he's like a Kentucky racehorse, who hangs back and lets the other horses tire themselves out. They shoot horses, don't they?

So they ride up a mountain in a gondola. DeAnna is terrified of heights, so it makes sense that she'd choose to ride a gondola up a mountain, right? She says Sean doesn't know how much is riding on the date. They're having a romantic dinner up there, and if all goes well, he'll be coming back for dessert. Or perhaps "dessert" should have some quotation marks around it.

Sean babbles on about some hilariously convoluted loaded-gun metaphor that has to do with taking risks. I think? In essence, he says that he's been worried about opening himself up to her is like walking around with a loaded gun, but has decided that walking around with a loaded gun is better than no gun at all. "I agree. Good ... saying," says DeAnna. Hee! Then he goes on about how awesome it would be if she were to meet his family. In a talking head, she talks about how she's getting to know him better. Not so much better that she doesn't mistakenly call him "John," unfortunately.

Back at the Palm Springs outhouse, the other guys get a date card. Twilley predicts it'll be a group date for all the other guys except him, who hasn't had a solo date yet. Instead, it's a group date with Jesse, Jason, Graham and Twilley. "I haven't understood a lot of her decisions," he admits. Yeah. Starting with "I think I'll audition for The Bachelor," it's been one wrong move after another for DeAnna. "I'm looking for a man that can get down and dirty and have some fun in the sun," reads the card.

Rose petals grace the walk up to DeAnna's place for dessert, and Sean says he felt honoured to be asked back to her place for dessert. He talks more about his family. In a talking-head, she says if she were giving out roses at the end of dates this week, he'd definitely get one. They share the same family values, apparently. When someone says "family values" it's usually in an "I don't want the gays to get married" context, so I'm not sure what they're going on about here. He says she's the missing piece in the jigsaw puzzle of his life (she must be the "LV" on his luggage), and they cuddle in a hammock and kiss, and hopefully she didn't get too slimy from all his hair product and facial creams.

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Bachelorette

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