I have a connection in Chicago.

The limo speeds through the empty St. Louis streets (the Gateway Arch is a gateway to hell) as Trista tells us, "I have no anxiety about tonight. I am very much looking forward to seeing my family, and I think that my parents are going to be very impressed with Charlie." Looks like somebody's family is a sucker for a guy who can recite the entire Greek alphabet backwards while holding a lit match and, I'm sure, is naked from the waist down. Who is he besides his smarmy, frat-boy persona? What parental impressing arsenal could he possibly have at his disposal? Let's go see!

Inside of middle America's most middle-class home, we meet an odd configuration of family members. Now remember, I didn't watch the first season of this show so I don't know if Alex met the parents or what, but you have to admit there's something weird about the dad being at dinner with both his current wife and his past wife, both of whom seem to get along quite well, actually. New wife is an eensy bit more glamorous, so I guess she's the one who, Sixteen Candles-style, will just offer to "open this box of donuts" as part of their palling-around dinner prep slapstick in the kitchen. If we tried this familial arrangement in my family, the salad dressing would be blood and the wine would be red and flowing because it would be made entirely of blood. The ex-wife and the current wife all bond-y like this? Are they staying together for the good of the game show? Because that would be really big of all of them.