Bachelorette
Bowlers And Bowling

Episode Report Card
Djb: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Spare Me

Todd tells Meredith that he enjoyed his experience with "bronco-busting." Does that mean having sex with cows, or...?

Remember the goofy one from last week? He's wearing a white cowboy hat in his three-word video message. A white cowboy hat. That guy's so goofy!

Whoa! Who's Mr. Giant Head? And, more importantly, who replaced the video messages with the first ten minutes of Time Bandits?

Some guy says that Meredith will get to see the real him if they get to spend a few more moments together. Like, we'll know his name and stuff, if that happens?

Some other guy had a great time with her. Crackerjack recapping for you here, folks. Step right up!

Ian is VERY, VERY CLOSE to me right now! But he's sincere and my friend likes him. He wants a rose because he needs "a second chance." Not encouraging.

Right down to the opening-night gift, Rick is so Russ 2.0, now featuring new and improved orange flavoring.

Eliot wants to "get to know [Meredith] a little bit better." Yeah, maybe on the press tour when you can watch her on Ellen.

Matthew. Square head! How'd you know I was going to say that.

Is that Harold? Whoever it is says, "Every time our eyes met, there was some kind of extra connection." Whoever that is, he should not be calling repeated attention to his crazy, crazy eyes.

Lanny is way to manly to go out of his way to pronounce "date" correctly. He's good and ol' and a boy and we get it. He lines his house with drawlpaper.

Chris carries the roses downstairs -- as you do -- and the camera scans the crowd. Chris retires to pick up Meredith, and upon her return offers this pithy speech: "I've gone on three really amazing dates. There is no doubt in my mind that I picked fifteen great guys. I hate seeing you, standing there, smiling at me, knowing that I only have ten roses to give out today. But I want you to know, I'm looking for the guy for me." Rather than the guy for Eliot. Who is out there somewhere, y'all. Nothing to be sad about tonight.

That said:

Rick, will you accept this rose? It would be his honor. Just when you thought he'd blown it all on a bowling match, the Fighting Little Orange pulls it out unexpectedly once more.

Todd, will you accept this rose? Oh, rose? I'm sorry. He thought you said Rogaine. His interest? Lessening.

Chad, will you accept this rose? Oh, that's Time Bandits guy. Of course he was offered a rose. He is after all, he whom they call The Supreme Being.

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