Back at The Man-na From Heaven, Trista confides, "This decision is much harder than I imagined it would be." Greg misjudges things terribly with the sentiment that "everybody really does want the rose," and we cut to a series of datelettes several seconds in length, all of which are helpfully designed to help Trista with the decision of whom she's going to spend the rest of her life with:

Jeff wants to know if his age is a factor. (He's twenty-five.) Trista tells him, "You're basically the perfect guy. You're intelligent. You're funny. You're got a great, beautiful look about you." You nimbly operate that giant Q-tip thing to knock Jazz and the other gladiators right off of the high beam on '80s Fox late night. Just perfect enough to pass over. Ain't that always the way with perfection?

Brian H. couldn't seem less interested. He tells us in an interview I'm pretty sure takes place after the rose ceremony that he thinks they "didn't have a lot of chemistry." For instance, his high levels of the periodic chart element known on this show as "Brianium" was way too high. Go home, Bush Leaguer.

Brian S. "can't tell which guys have an advantage." Let me narrow it down for you. If you can see a guy near you without the help of a reflective aid such as a mirror or a spoon, he has a better chance than you do.

Rhymin' thinks that "everyone has this hope to end up with Trista," and they sit together on the couch as Trista tells him more about his "layers." He tells us that it's easy for him to talk to her, and that he could potentially fall in love with her. Sing it with me if you know the words: Awwwwwww.