Hey, there's the doorbell! "Oh. Let me get the door," says DeAnna. She sounds so fake that Jesse right off knows it's one of her surprises. It would be a surprise for us too, that Jason is showing up at the same time, if this show hadn't pimped it at every commercial break so far.
The bachelors exchange forced pleasantries and then sit down on either side of her, with each doing their best to toss off jokes that show he loves DeAnna most, and that he is most unwilling to let go of DeAnna's hand. In a talking head, Jason talks about how hard it is to be there and see that DeAnna also has feelings for Jesse. Wait until he watches the entire season, huh? He's going to stick his head in the oven.
Speaking of sticking one's head in the oven, let's watch more awkward questioning by the family!
Well, except when Jason chats with DeAnna's grandparents. Her grandfather advises: "When she asks for something, agree with her. Always agree with your wife." Awesome advice. I'm never more miserable when I don't follow that philosophy, that's for sure. He also makes a joke about not marrying his wife if her father hadn't had that shotgun. DeAnna's yia yia tells Jason she thinks he's the one for DeAnna, and DeAnna's grandfather reminds her that it's DeAnna's choice. "No, Yia Yia has a lot to do with it," she says. Hee!
Meanwhile, Jesse's sitting down for another painful chat with DeAnna's dad, in which he awkwardly talks about how much he loves DeAnna, and then he asks for DeAnna's dad's blessing to ask her to marry him. And instead of saying, "yes," DeAnna's dad says, "Are you ready?" And instead of saying, "yes," Jesse rambles on about his own dad, and sweaty palms and butterflies, and he goes on forever. And then DeAnna's dad takes forever to say that he considers it an honor to be asked, and he just wants to make sure she gets the very best and is treated with the dignity she deserves. And then he gives Jesse his blessing. Jesse exhales in relief and they hug. But there's one condition: "When you have my beautiful daughter with you, you keep the hair short." Jesse agrees to get it cut, if DeAnna's dad goes to a stylist with him.
God, more awkward family visiting. There is some ouzo involved. Then some terrorists take over Newnan city hall and DeAnna is taken hostage for some reason atop the clock tower, and Jesse and Jason must team up to save her, and there are many explosions, and people get shot, and it was not what I was expecting at all from this episode. I was expecting more awkward family talk and lame goodbyes and all that, right? But I've discovered that this show is so much better when you ignore what is actually happening on screen and just make up your own storyline. For example, instead of three hours' worth of DeAnna's cousin and sister talking about how much of a better choice Jason is, imagine an ATV chase through the Georgian backwoods. See? Isn't that better? People get impaled on strategically placed tree branches in my version.