And now we revisit the barbecue, which seemed like a good idea, says Chris: "And man, did it go horribly wrong." Which kind of sums up the entire show, don't you think? DeAnna's problem with the barbecue can be summed up in five words: It wasn't all about her. We're forced to watch her completely faked tirade again. Well, technically not "forced." We could turn this off. I can't even listen to her talk; she's such a phoney.
I mean, the two-on-one date, which we move onto next, is a perfect example. Instead of one guy getting a rose, she sent both of them home. Did she tell both of them at the same time that they were going home? No. She sent Robert home and allowed Fred to think he was going to stay. "The hard part is that I knew Fred thought he was going to stay," she says. The stink from the shit coming out of Chris's mouth becomes particularly malodorous as this bullshit move by DeAnna gets spun as heroism, because she didn't lead Fred on by giving him a rose to stay for one more episode. I assume the Nobel committee has been notified of her actions.
And because all of DeAnna's thoughts and feelings can't even fill twenty minutes' worth, we're off now to Vail, Colorado, to visit with "America's favorite Bachelorette couple," Trista and Ryan. I suppose "America's favorite Bachelorette couple" does sound better than "America's only technically successful Bachelorette couple." Trista loves her life of firefighter-marriage and stay-at-home mommying. "But Trista had to earn her happy ending," Chris tells us. "Earn"? Oh. By this he means that she was on The Bachelor and had her heart broken. And then she was on The Bachelorette and met Ryan, and then they invented getting married, and invented having children.