Trista thinks Deanna is serious and invested and wants to find love. DeAnna says she's really looking forward to seeing where she and the bachelors go on their exotic dates, because that's what the producers asked her to say because that episode is coming up soon -- I mean, "that's when she fell in love with Ryan."
"Let's take a closer in-depth look at the men who are fighting to win her heart," says Chris. Yeah, that should kill about thirty seconds apiece.
Jesse is a professional snowboarder who alludes to all the tail he gets because of what he does. "I'm so much different from the other guys," he says. Does that mean anything interesting like "I have a third testicle"? No. It means -- well, he has some sneakers with neon on them. Basically.
Here comes the Twilley-so-crazy montage. And then we get some dare-I-say interesting heretofore-unknown info about him: he started a real-estate software company, he's very interested in art, and his father played for the Miami Dolphins for 12 years. Then more Twilley-so-crazy.
Jason talks about how crazy he is. Hilariously, this is over clips of him playing golf. Are you serious? GOLF? Is anything less crazy than golf? He thinks he's the perfect man for DeAnna because -- oh, I can't remember. Let's say it's because he has a penis and she has a vagina (presumably). Remember when the earth stood still and Jason told her he has a son? Remember how nobody stopped talking about it at work for weeks? In case you didn't, we watch some clips of it. We're reminded that DeAnna is a wonderful humanitarian because her head didn't explode upon finding out that a man fathered a child.
Sean is a martial-arts master, so we watch him kicking things. He admits to being smaller when he was a child, so his parents enrolled him so he wouldn't get his ass kicked. He has a house full of clothes, and if his luggage doesn't have "LV" on it, FUCK THAT. "I like the finer things in life," he tells us. Does he need a five-bedroom house, all the product in his hair, his facial creams, his Hummer, his home-tanning and sauna setup? "No, but I'm awesome and rich," is the basic theme of his montage. Just after I was starting to think Sean was not a massive tool, too.