Bachelorette

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | 1218 USERS: C+
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"I Was Hung Like a Light Switch"

Jesse tells her he's only had two real relationships, only one that was really serious. He tells her some stuff about how he was excited when he found out she was going to be the bachelorette, and that he blew off a trip to Italy to be on the show, because the trip is temporary, but this could be forever. Ah, who knows what Italian beauties Jesse will never have met because he decided to come on this farce of a show?"

Robby's mixing drinks, hoping to impress Jillian since he hasn't had a date with her yet. He makes a drink he invented, called the... sounds like "rosmo." Yep, it's "Rosmo," which she instantly susses out as half-Robby, half-cosmo. But he's only talking to her for a few moments before Wes swoops in to take her away and joke that she's cheating on him. "That's the kind of guy he is," Robby tells us, shrugging.

Robby goes back to the group to lick his wounds, and also provide an opportunity for some of the guys to bitch about Wes not being a "cool guy," which means, as usual, "I don't have the balls to talk to Jillian myself so I'm going to slag off the guy who does." Having said that, Wes is coming off more and more like a tool. Reid doesn't know what Wes's intentions are. Maybe it's to promote his music, he says. Sorry, Reid. It's not Wes's fault you can't haul out a mortgage application around a campfire and impress the women with your knowledge of property taxes.

David, unsurprisingly, thinks Wes is fake too, and here for the wrong reasons. David raises a good question: is it better to be a fake nice guy, or a genuine asshole? Robby's annoyed because Wes has done nothing to make the rest of the guys like him. I guess he's missed the point of the show. When he talks to Wes about it, Wes is remarkably upfront about it, saying he's not going to slow down just because he's got a rose. "If anything, you need to step it up," says Wes. Like Walter Sobchak, he's not wrong. He's just an asshole.

So after Jillian whines about how she's getting nervous about having to send four guys home, Chris Harrison comes in to tell the guys that "In order for Jillian to have the best chance at love, she needs your help." A butler comes in with a ballot box, and Harrison tells them that they are to vote for the guy they most want to see go home tonight. It could be someone who's not there for the right reasons, or someone who is just too much competition. Yeah, that's great. Hey, Jillian seems to have hit it off with this guy! Let's get rid of him! Way to leave it up to Jillian. Wes, Mike and Jake are safe because of their roses, Chris tells us, but anyone else is fair game.

Bachelorette

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