So once they're properly fake-cowboyed up, they head over to the House of Blues. Because when you think country music, you think the House of Blues! And Jake thought that the place was going to be packed and that they were going to be fighting their way to the bar. Which I guess means he's never seen the show before. Not that that's an indictment of Jake, actually. But of course they have the place to themselves, and Jillian hops up on the bar and says she always wanted to do the Coyote Ugly thing, and I really wish she would stop saying things, because I just keep liking her less and less. Jake pops a boner over Jillian dancing on the bar in her boots. "I was a good boy. I didn't peek up her skirt," he says.

Then they two-step, and Jillian is surprised to find out he already knows how to two-step better than she does. So he's a better fake-cowboy than you are, Jillian? Don't take it personally. Then I hear Jake say "soul mate" so thank god we're into a commercial break. Commercials on this show are like Ritalin for me.

"I really think that there is a spark that could quite possibly turn into a flame that could quite possibly turn into love that could quite possibly turn into marriage," Jake tells us. Don't put too many qualifications on it or anything, Jake. Then he talks to Jillian about how being as awesome as he is doesn't mean anything unless he has someone to share it with, and then asks her how she'd feel about being whisked off to Belgium for actual Belgian waffles. "I would freak out! That would be awesome!" she says. Any time she wants to sound not like a 13-year-old getting a backstage pass to the Jonas Brothers, that would be just fine with me. In an interview, Jillian says, "It seems really early to say this, but I feel like Jake is one of those people that I could say, 'here is my life,' and I could walk away and then I would be in great shape." Yeah, it seems really early to say that, by which I mean it's awfully early to be as drunk as you need to be to spout such incoherence.

Jake asks her why she's here. "I want to find my best friend, I do." She thinks this is a great avenue to do that, which I guess means she hasn't actually checked out this show's track record (and has FORGOTTEN HER OWN EXPERIENCE). Then he asks if she thinks she could get married out of this, and she starts babbling that she can, and then he starts kissing her, probably just to get her to shut up, a move I heartily endorse.