Bachelorette

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | 1218 USERS: C+
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"I Was Hung Like a Light Switch"

Jillian tells the guys that she had lots of fun, and then she picks up the rose. David seems to care less about the rose than about Juan not getting the rose. He actually says Juan should go drown himself. You know what? I think David actually has a crush on Juan, and he hates himself for it. He needn't worry, because in the end Jillian gives the rose to the guy whose penis she kind of saw: Mike. "Well deserved!" yells David, applauding. He seems to approve of having almost seen Mike's penis too.

Back at the house, the be-rosed guys -- Mike, Jake and Wes -- proudly display their roses on their lapels. Mike asks what their thought process is on talking to Jillian even when they're safe. "I'm not here for the guys. I didn't come here to date one of them," says Wes. Yeah, seriously. He points out that just because they're safe now doesn't mean they're safe later. There's nothing I hate more than the reality show contestants who claim that other players are stabbing them in the back just by virtue of, you know, competing.

So anyway, Jillian greets the guys, and tells us that she's not looking forward to sending home four guys. Tanner P. grosses us out by talking about his foot fetish, and saying he hopes Jillian's wearing open-toed sandals. She is, and he picks up her feet and starts playing with her toes. Even Jillian by this point knows that he's kind of obsessed (she tries to lighten things by asking who has the ugliest feet in the house, and Tanner doesn't hesitate in saying "Sasha"), so it'll be surprising if Tanner P. doesn't go home tonight.

Wes and Jesse kind of get into it a little bit, with Jesse saying he's jealous of the time Wes got to spend with Jillian, and Wes kind of oddly saying "you're not jealous." Jesse thinks Wes is a bit of a phoney, but he can only worry about himself. Just then, Jillian comes in to talk to Jesse. She tells us she's physically attracted to him, but she's looking for the seriousness and the relationship potential.

Bachelorette

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