Bachelorette

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: A+ | 824 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Seventeen and Counting

We finally get our first Ali sighting of the evening. And how does she greet us? By taking the first opportunity to remind us that she is a total prostitution whore and is dating 17 guys at once. Apparently for her that is something to write home about, or, you know, announce on national television (twice!) in case grandma had the volume turned down on the TV in the rec room at the nursing home and didn't hear it. Ali swears Frank is the perfect guy to go have fun-- oh wait, sorry: FUN with. When Ali stops by the house to pick up Frank, they both jump and giggle and show off their burgeoning... ew, no, too dirty: They show off their schoolyard romance in front of the seething mob of angry spurned bachelors. Frank and Ali make their escape before the men can ask the producers for pitchforks and torches. Parked outside is a bitchin' something or other vintage American convertible....that breaks down five miles into their Super Awesome Fun date. Wait... is this show sponsored by Triple A? Anyway, Ali panics like they are actually stuck on the side of the highway in Los Angeles and doesn't seem to remember that not only is there a cameraman IN THE CAR with them, but also apparently a helicopter is floating overhead filming them. I think you're going to be okay Ali! And, Frank? This is totally the time to go for second. Ali does her nana proud and makes a bold move to protect her greatest asset (that's her virginity, people -- and they are saving that for sweeps week) and she drags Frank out of the car and onto the highway to walk God knows where, completely abandoning the rental on the side of the road.

Luckily, this is a highway in Los Angeles, so none of the cars were actually moving on the highway and Frank and Ali's lives were safe, although they did get stopped by an immigration officer who thought they might be illegal immigrants what with all the walking on highways. Then Ali and Frank magically find a cab just sitting there next to whatever freeway exit they ended up at and Ali directs the cabdriver to Hollywood, but doesn't give him a proper address. Since the cameras are rolling and the producer paid in advance, the cabbie doesn't berate them or chuck them out of the cab. Ali and Frank roll into Hollywood and people immediately swarm Ali asking for her autograph and grilling her about her date with Frank. Ali tells us that she can tell Frank is totally uncomfortable and possibly horrified and maybe wishing he had updated his tetanus shot, but is going along with all of it anyway. She really likes that about him. Damn, girl, does he like THAT about YOU? Like, way to be considerate.

Bachelorette

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP