Out on the roof of the skyscraper, somehow Ali and Roberto have managed to don proper dining togs in advance of their romantic feast. They must have carried their clothes in their backpacks from the other building. I mean, they wouldn't have CHEATED and had someone else bring their clothes, would they? Roberto is explaining to Ali that he is a cunning linguist and speaks Spanish, some French and a little Italian. Ali thinks his, er... lingual skills are very sexy. Ali then explains to us that she does not have low self-esteem issues except when she is around Roberto, who makes her feel fat and ugly and stupid, and she totally loves that. Like she's finally a real woman. Um... yes. Let's sing a round of "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman," eh? Carole King clearly had this situation in mind when she wrote the song. Anyway, Ali has had enough of this tiresome "sitting at a table and using forks" thing, and magically pillows and a coital protective garment appear on the rooftop. Roberto tries to build up Ali's self-esteem by reminding her that she's cute. Ali rewards him with a rose. And another cuddle. Bringing the kiss count up to THREE (or TRES, for the Spanish-speaking among us). She has made out with every guy she has gone on a one-on-one date with. Grandma would be proud!

Now it's Group Date day, but no one call her a prostitution whore. She's just LUCKY. And you're just jealous. The guys all explain how fake-excited they are to be gang-dating Ali and then they pile into the limo and head out. In the middle of a deserted stretch of road (I think it's in the Mad Max neighborhood of Los Angeles) Ali stops the car by standing in the middle of the road with a whip and a glare. Okay fine, no whip, but it was a fine Mel Gibson impersonation. The guys pile out of the Hummer limo (apt, no?) and party-peck Ali's cheek while trying to figure out where the heck they are. Ali glimmers and glows and lures the men under an overpass where a girl gang descends from the eaves and beats them all senseless while shouting, "Smash the dominant paradigm!" and "Stop douchebaggery!" and then tying all the bros up and waiting for FEMINIST HULK to arrive and force them to watch Rain Without Thunder and Thelma and Louise until they cry and beg for pay equality.