Still on the chopping block: Peculiar Jesse, Kwazy Kasey, and The Weatherman. Kasey gets called. Bad choice! Bad choice! Peculiar Jesse is frustrated, but understands that Ali is a city girl and he wants acreage and cows and to see his dogs on those acres with those cows. The Weatherman pitifully points out that he shouldn't be going home tonight, and Ali just didn't get a chance to know him. He doesn't understand what happened. He doesn't get how pitiful and sad and weepy he is. He hops in a cab and back to his weather puppets (Hello, Mr. Sun! Nice to see you, Little Rain Cloud!), who are his only true friends. As Jonathan cries alone in the cab, Ali laughs that things are heating up in New York so she is putting them all on ice in Iceland! Everyone whoops. I put my foot through the TV.

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Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates takes a Silkwood shower after every episode of The Bachelorette. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.