If Kasey was fingernails on a chalkboard, Craig (the dead-behind-the-eyes lawyer) is fingernails on a chalkboard on the back of a beached humpbacked Countess LuAnn De Lesseps. Oy. Luckily, Peculiar Jesse is pretty good, but Roberto... well, Roberto played it smart. He sang the song (still "Can You Feel the Love Tonight") directly to Ali and made her cry and thus he won the date to the staccato rhythm of all the other idiots smacking themselves on the head for not thinking of singing to their supposed true love a song about love. The Weatherman smacks himself around and calls himself names, which I figure is how he spends a typical Saturday night anyway. So Roberto won, but unfortunately the date isn't so much quiet sexy time, but more "being part of The Lion King time. Roberto pretends this is the best thing that has ever happened to him. LIES!!
Ali and Roberto get dolled up in their jungle costumes and rehearse their dance number. They're going on Broadway, baby! It is really too bad that the Tonys were last night, because I think we have some serious contenders! Ali and Roberto are dangled from the air in flagrante delicto while all the other guys watch from the cheap seats, groaning loudly. Jonathan explains his need for a Silkwood shower after watching five minutes of their act. Then the curtain goes up, the show starts, and Ali and Roberto head to the stage. The Himbos have been kicked out of the theater (their moans were pretty loud) and are watching the musical on a TV set in the lobby. Obviously, Ali and Roberto nail their forbidden dance and all the men weep and rend their clothes and don sackcloth and put ashes on their heads. Their lives have no meaning, and they have no tickets to the hottest show on Broadway. Just kill yourselves!
Back at the luxury condo, Ali is hocking up loogies all over the place and the men all cluck and nod their heads because their darling has a cold and reality television does not stop for colds. This is reality! Loogies and all! The guys know that Ali probably wants to have an early night, but Frank makes sure to get some alone time with "his" lady. Meanwhile, Jonathan is strategizing with the other men as to how he will make his move, and there is a panicky edge to his voice. Roberto laughs that the forecast for The Weatherman is a high-pressure system moving in, which is actually pretty funny, and it seems so unfair that he would be hot, dimpled, a baseball player AND funny. Then I remember he sells insurance, and the scales of the universe are back in balance.