Bachelorette
Episode 4

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F@#in' Phuket

Then Ashley goes to talk to a guy... and I have no idea who he is. He is a divorced Southern gentleman, and Ashley makes him swear on a stack of dental textbooks that he is over his ex-wife. Ashley finally reminds us that the guy's name is Lucas. Doesn't really ring a bell, but I will believe the producers that he has been here all along. In order to ratchet up the drama, and Blake's (the man dentist) camera time, Blake decides to go tell Ryan to his face (like a man) that no one likes him. Ryan is genuinely taken aback that his zest for life is rubbing people the wrong way. He points out that there are soldiers in Iraq facing mortar shells every morning, so, yeah, he's happy to be in Phuket dating a Jazzercise instructor on national television. He's happy and he's going to let his little light shine as much as he wants. He's happy dammit! Then Ashley pulls him aside to talk and the first question out of his mouth is, "You're so happy all the time." Ryan blinks a few times and then laughs that everyone thinks he's so happy! Ashley asks him to explain and he briefly tells her what Blake said about him rubbing the guys the wrong way with his Pollyanna act. He goes on to remind us all that life is brief and he wants to enjoy every minute of it. Ashley approves of that statement.

And then Chris Harrison makes his Thai debut (except for that time at the bar with the girl with the man bits, but he's legally unable to talk about that). He seems unaffected by the heat as he is wearing a full suit and a tie and his hair looks as Brillo Pad-ish as ever. Maybe he is a witch? He pulls Ashley aside to chit-chat about how many guys she has Frenched on national television this week. She happily reports that she had a great week. Chris asks if she is moving past Bentley, and she says, no. She admits that she may never be over Bentley because she didn't get any closure with him. I guess when she sees him being a dick in front of six million viewers she will get her closure. However, she is starting to sense that there are some relationships blossoming that could be better than what she had with Bentley.

Then she tells Chris about her date with Ames and what a pleasant surprise it was. She was planning on sending him home, but now she is considering spending her life with him. She doesn't want to make that same potential mistake with any other guys, so she asks Chris to give her an extra rose. That means that only one chuckleheaded yutz will be leaving us tonight, instead of the planned two. Chris says no problem, which can only mean one thing: There is more drama brewing and someone else will make an untimely departure later in the show, preferably a la the gimpy wrestler who ran away through the shrubbery when Ali confronted with evidence that he had a girlfriend back home. That was quality television.

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Bachelorette

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