However, she has a Rose Ceremony tonight and she needs to send someone home. Can she stop moping over the chucklehead who left her long enough to go kick someone off the show? She says she'll try. I am so scared for the world when Chris Harrison makes perfect sense.

It's finally time for the Rose Ceremony. The men are all lined up and Harrison gives them the rundown: Two guys (Ben F. and Blake) have roses and there are six more to hand out. Ashley comes in and strings together a bunch of words about honesty and how she hopes this Rose Ceremony is honest or something. Oh whatever. Then she gives Constantine the first rose. Lucas gets the second. Wouldn't it be funny if Ames got a concussion and not a rose? J.P. gets the third rose. Ames finally gets a rose, and fourth place is pretty lousy for a guy who got a foot in his face for love. Mickey is next and then it is the final rose of the evening.

After an overly long pause she gives the rose to Ryan P. which means that NICK IS GOING HOME! Fuck off soul patch! Drop dead white collar on a blue shirt! Yer outta here hockey hair! So long frosted tips! Smell ya later striped brown tie! Nick leaves muttering about how he hopes there is a girl out there for him and that he gets to meet her someday. Far far away from my television set. Ashley gathers her menfolk around her and announces that they are on their way to Hong Kong. Everyone toasts to their journey [to Love]. Then we get a whole bunch of flash forwards to Bentley's dramatic return to the show in Hong Kong. Other things to look forward to? Ashley cries some more. But I won't be here to see it, because Daniel is filling in for me next week while I go about my life dating ten men simultaneously and hoping I don't catch the Herp.

Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates going to launch a new career naming Thai restaurants. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers