The first guys to fight are Blake and Lucas, who I don't care about one way or the other. Blake wins by kneeing Lucas in the ribs while socking him in the face. That's when Ashley starts to think the date might be a little out of control. But still hot, obviously. Mickey and J.P. are next and Ashley covers her eyes and cringes on the sidelines while J.P. punishes Mickey with a brutal onslaught of punches. As J.P. says, "The Jew from Long Island kicked the Irishman's ass." Next into the ring are Ames and Ryan P. the solar energy almost hippie. Ryan does not hold back as he wails on Ames' Ivy League-educated head. Dude, that's an expensive noggin, go easy! No one cared that Ryan won the bout, because Ames was so badly beaten and they are all worried about him. T-minus five minutes until hospital visit?
The producers don't care, they throw Constantine and Nick into the ring to battle to death. Adding insult to injury, Ashley isn't even watching their fight as she is so concerned about Ames who is staring blankly into space while his over-educated head goes kablooey. Constantine lives my dream and kicks Nick's in the face as Ashley goes to fetch a doctor. Are the producers even watching? Why does it seem that Ashley is doing this all by herself? Did the producers really just chuck the men into the ring and then go out for noodles? Ashley runs off to find a medic and ends up tucking a dazed Ames into an ambulance. Ames is such a nice guy that he apologize TO HER for having such a delicate constitution and not being able to withstand 47 consecutive blows to the head. Candyass. Ashley claims she feels super bad as Ames is taken to get an MRI in Thailand. As he is wheeled through the hospital, we get an up-the-pants shot and we almost get to see some Ames' underwear, which is the most exciting thing to happen on this show so far.
Later, the group date continues, but Ashley is feeling pretty bad about the fact that she made her suitors beat the shit out of each other for her viewing pleasure. She makes them all recount what it's like to be hit while she gasps in horror/hotness. Ryan P. feels super bad about bashing Ames in the face repeatedly, but Ashley made him do it and she thinks it's pretty butch for an almost-hippy. So as he expresses his condolences to Ames' face, he also shows off his battle scars to Ashley, who looks touched that he would do that just for her.













Comments