Chris Harrison sits Ali down and breaks the news that he's not serving up a sexual harassment sandwich. He asks her to call Jessie, a girl that Ali shacked up with during her attempt to claw her way into Bachelor Jake's arms. Harrison makes the international call and then the phone rings... and rings... and rings some more. Come on editing, quit wanking and cut the tape! Jessie finally gets around to answering the phone as if this second chance at stardom wasn't the second most exciting thing to ever happen to her. Ali and Jessie chitchat for a minute as if this was a totally normal phone call and 3.8% of the 18-34 age demographic wasn't watching. GET TO THE POINT, WOMAN! Jessie finally explains that JUSTIN HAS A GIRLFRIEND! Ali looks super excited, like she got some very juicy gossip about someone else entirely and then she remembers that she is supposedly on the path to love with this guy, so she gets her Very Serious Face on. She asks Jessie how she knows this and Jessie chirps that she just happens to be sitting RIGHT NEXT TO JUSTIN'S GIRLFRIEND! Wow, what luck! Jiminy Cricket, how did this magical synchronicity occur? Fairies? Ali's version of reality has impeccable timing.

Jessie who the producers must have dragged out of obscurity for this unique opportunity to rear her head again on The Bachelorette ends her second shot at 15 minutes by handing the phone over to Justin's girlfriend who is named Jessica. (I guess the producers couldn't ask her to change her name to make this less confusing, but I hope they at least asked.) Jessica appears to actually be upset by this situation. Perhaps because she is outing her boyfriend and ruining his reputation on national television? Or because her big shot at fame will be as the betrayed girlfriend of a Canadian semi-professional wrestler? Ooh, Idea: Maybe SHE can be the next Bachelorette! Jessica sniffles in silence for a minute and then tells Ali that she has been dating Justin for two years and helped him apply to be a Bachelor and that he has been sneaking out to call her and still loves her and is only doing this for his career. Now, I'm not sure, but I don't think doing it for your career is the oft-mentioned "right" reason to be on the show. Jessica continues her sad, sad story: She was all for this Big Career Move, until she found out that Justin had been cheating on her with some blond slut named Ali...er, rather, with some OTHER slut in addition to Ali. Ali immediately jumps in and is shocked that Justin would do this to her (Ali). She (Ali) could have fallen in love with him! She (Ali) could have been hurt! Um, Ali? Pick your audience better. This girl was putatively ACTUALLY heartbroken by this guy and you haven't even gone on a one-on-one date with him.