The next day, Ali plays some hide-and-seek with her gaggle of men. Someone points out that there aren't that many blonde women in Turkey so she should be easy to spot. Chris L. er... I guess he's just Chris now that his other half has left. Anyway, Chris spots her hiding in a castle and the men all wave like grandmas at the playground. Ali lures them into the ruins of an Ottoman castle, hugs each of them, and then in a moment sure to be a contender for next year's Tubey Award for best Ho Yay! moment, forces them to Olive Oil Wrestle with some other dudes. Whee! Good thing He Who Shall Not Be Named got sent home because he would have a serious advantage. Apparently Olive Oil Wrestling is a professional sport in Turkey and the four men on the group date will have to get coated in oil and wrestle for Ali's affections. What girl doesn't like that? The professional wrestlers make short work of the lawyer, insurance salesman, landscaper, and whateverthefuck Kirk does for a living. Then the men have to fight each other with the chance of some alone time with Ali. It's a hot greasy mess punctuated by Craig's insistence that he needs alone time with Ali. Roberto is an excellent oil wrestler, but Craig's wily moves and timely use of a restraining order rule the day. He is as surprised by his victory as we are.
As Frank pulls out his hair in anxiety over his girlfriend dating six other guys, Craig and Ali take the water taxi from Asia to Europe. I just saw an ad for this in Bon Appetit magazine and I am not even lying for once. Turkey has a mean publicity machine. Craig swears that he and Ali are just really into each other. If you keep saying it, buddy, someone will definitely believe you. Meanwhile, Frank gets his date card, pops a Xanax, chews off his fingernails, and tries to convince the other bohunks that Ali will choose him. Over in Europe (or Asia, not sure which direction they were heading) Craig awkwardly tries to drape his arm over Ali's shoulder as they watch some fireworks over the Bosphorus. Then Craig swears he would make an awesome husband, which he clearly recites into the mirror as part of his daily affirmations. Ali cheerfully says something romantic that amounts to Craig looks really good on paper.