It's pouring rain when Ali arrives at the hotel for the rose ceremony. Chris Harrison grumblingly meets her outside in the rain hoisting an umbrella over her BumpIt. Harrison is wearing a very bright purple tie with his rather staid suit. He reminds the chumps that Ali has four roses to hand out. Whoever gets a rose gets the unique privilege of bringing Ali to their home town for some public embarrassment and exposing your family to the derision or admiration of the world at large. First rose? Chris and his well-timed present. Second? Frank. Third? Roberto. It comes down to Tennessee Ty and Mold Man Kirk. Harrison points out the obvious that it is the Final Rose. I still don't know why he does that. I mean, we all know it's the Final Rose. They certainly know it is the Final Rose. Why, Chris Harrison, Why? Anyway, Last Rose? It goes to Kirk. Which is not at all surprising. What working girl would sign up for a life with a man who divorced his last wife because she wanted to get a job? No matter how much Ty swears that he has changed and realized the errors of his backwards-ass ways, no one with a brain would buy it. Ali tucks Ty into the car and he swears he had Feelings and really thought he was the perfect guy for her and it would have been nice to have someone to share stuff with. Get a roommate, moron. He is pissed off because she made the wrong choice and he hopes she realizes that. Ali feels so sad, but not really. She wants to meet her husband! And he's not in Tennessee.
OH, WHAT A LOVELY SURPRISE. Instead of another half hour of Ali's struggling to find love, we get to see what happens when fake love goes horribly wrong. Yes: It's the Jake and Vienna break-up interview! Kill me now! Please! ...Sigh. Chris Harrison stumbles out of the Bachelor mansion to do some "real" reporting. He laughably tells us that many people have found love on The Bachelor. They like to update us faithful viewers with the growing love of the lucky contestants on this show. Um... wasn't Trista the only person to have actually married and/or reproduced with anyone she met on the show? Oh, sure there was the whole Bachelor Jason dumping Melissa Rycroft and getting hitched to runner up Molly, but that doesn't really prove anything other than that this is a stupid format for finding love. But whatevs, we will let Harrison have his little half-truth. I mean, he has to actually work today, and for more then five minutes in a row. We can't expect him to answer questions or seek out the truth.