Bachelorette
Bachelorette

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A+ | 695 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Cold!

Ty is continuing to be the alpha male, supervising the harnesses on the humans as he did with the ponies. He gets kicked in the head in neither case. Chris L. gets lowered down the hole first, which he's all happy about so he can meet Ali down below and have those thirty seconds of alone time. He gives her his gloves, which she likes. It's like she's constantly surprised that these dudes are going out of their way to be nice to her. What are they supposed to do, stand around next to her lamely going, "So, do you like...stuff?" Okay, that'll happen later. For now, eventually everyone's down there, and a guide starts leading them through the frozen catacombs. It's cold and dark and crowded and underground and generally the worst date I can imagine. Okay, I'm exaggerating. Maybe if rabid wolverines were shooting at them. Ali interviews that its great to spend this time with all these guys, but hard at the same time. "One of them could be my husband!" Well, anything's possible. She remarks that Frank was pretty much a nonentity on this date, which she says is his loss. Yeah, stupid Frank, not scrabbling for every possible second against the rest of her entourage.

After dark and some night volcano footage, Ali takes the group to something called "Blue Lagoon," which is supposedly a magic healing lake. Indeed, look what it did for Christopher Atkins. Standing on the edge of the mist-shrouded waters, Ali says they should get in, and the music gets all porny as she strips out of her snowsuit to reveal that she's wearing nothing but a blue bikini underneath. Wow, that must have gotten chilly during the spelunking. She's the first one in the water, but not by much. They have a group champagne toast, and then Ali invites Ty for some one-on-one time away from the others. They snuggle in the water, and he's glad she noticed how helpful he was being with everyone. It would have been such a waste if he'd helped everyone and then not gotten anything out of it other than having helped people. Then it's Chris L.'s turn, and he actually gets some making out. Meanwhile, the other guys are getting increasingly jealous and nervous. Ali, meanwhile, is getting drunk. I mean, nobody comments on it, but the cold, the altitude, the exertions of the day, and however much champagne she's consumed are having an unmistakable effect on her speech. But cheer up, other guys; as one of my viewing partners pointed out, it's probably best to go last anyway when she's this tipsy.

Bachelorette

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