Bachelorette
Bachelorette

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A+ | 742 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Cold!

Roberto goes outside with Ali in the snow. She asks if he would approach her outside the show. He fumbles, and she says she would have considered him too hot for her. He does sell insurance, but he still gets a kiss. At least she's honest about the fact that he's only still here for his looks. Or else she's just not bright enough to not be honest about it.

Enter Harrison to take Ali away for the pre-rose-ceremony ceremony. Craig says that someone's going to be going home and Justin will take his place, "And that's a shame." Ooh, burn!

So Downfall drops people's spouses off a building? Is that just a device to generate more single people for this show?

Back from the ads, Harrison and Ali talk about the marvels of Iceland, and he brings up the awkward train wreck of the two-on-one date and asks Ali about her take on Kasey. She says he "fell in love with the idea of falling in love here." That's much nicer than saying he was a big kookoopants. She says she wasn't feeling it, so it was best for both of them. Now Kasey is free to find love with someone who will appreciate his qualities, like a nice Wampa. She talks about something holding her back, and he totally says to her, "I think you're afraid to let yourself fall in love." Instead of telling the game show host to fuck off, Ali chews that over. "What are you so afraid of?" Harrison presses. She says there have been a lot of times when she hasn't felt good through this process, but she's been reminding herself that she's going through it to fall in love. Only she's terrified she won't be loved back. With the track record of this show? What are the chances? Harrison tells her to let it go, and she says she's working on it. Thanks, Dr. Chris. They hug and part company. I think he's satisfied that she's gotten the message, that message being, drop your panties already.

Ali goes and contemplates the shelf of photos, yammering in voice-over about love and fear and all that happy crappy.

Rose ceremony. Kirk, Ty, and Justin already have their roses, but there are only four roses left for the other five. Enter Ali, and Harrison yields the floor to her. She gives a speech about connections and choices. After a lot of staring, the first rose goes to Frank. Chris L. gets the next one. Craig looks nervous (and shlubby). Roberto gets a rose just for being handsome. That leaves Chris N. and Craig. Harrison shows up for two seconds to say, "Final rose tonight. When you're ready." Not that he's going to wait around for that. But given how long she takes, I can't really blame him. She finally gives the last rose to Craig. Chris N. is standing there looking as gormless as he did during his alone time. Awkward hugs, and he stiffly walks out. "I just couldn't get there with him. And I think he knows that." Yeah, I think that would have been the case in more ways than one. He gets in the limo and looks blank. He says he's lost for words. What else is new? "I'm a little shattered by this whole thing," he says emotionlessly. We can tell.

Bachelorette

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