Like, this show always does this, and I understand that it's probably easier to do one interview and ask the guy to pretend he hasn't been on the date yet and talk about what he was thinking about, but if they're going to play fast and loose and pretend they're actually shooting the interviews chronologically, could they not at least ask the guy to put on a different shirt? Hey, did you know Michael wants the rose? I wasn't sure if he would or not, so I'm glad he told us that he does.

Anyway, Andre is the waiter who shows up and gets Jillian to open a champagne bottle with a sabre, like did you ever hear of corkscrews, Andre, and he explains that burgundy makes you think silly thoughts, bordeaux makes you talk about silly thoughts, and champagne makes you do them. I guess everyone has been wasted on bordeaux all season.

Back at the house, there's a card for Wes, Robby, Kiptyn, Tanner, Ed, Jake, Reid and Mark: "Let's call it a snow day," says the card, and everyone cheers and claps like they have any idea what that means. Jesse is genuinely excited, because that means he gets the other one-on-one date.

Back at the date, instead of talking about normal things like normal people, they are talking like idiots about stupid things (namely, this show). Michael says, "I am a cheesy-ass romantic," at which point I blacked out, although I'd like to ask what the guys' obsession seems to be with ass cheese? David told Juan not to be a "cheese-ass" (and now both of them are dead) and Michael is proudly proclaiming his cheesy-assness. Jillian blah blah blah. Michael blah blah blah. Apparently the two of them could both get married if they found the right person. Fascinating!

Back at the lodge, the guys are hanging out talking about the girlfriend scandal, with Tanner looking slightly uncomfortable about the discussion centering around someone making up allegations or revealing things said in confidence, and Wes seems to be hanging out and watching from upstairs. With the way this show is edited, who knows; they're surely just setting up Tanner ratting out Wes, which is what's been alluded to at every teaser. Then again, Wes isn't here for the right reasons, like beautiful feet.

At the dinner, it's time for tough questions from Jillian: "I want you to tell me why you really signed up for this in the first place." That's not a question, Jillian! Michael takes a long time before answering, and then says he broke up with his girlfriend about eight months ago and "literally" has not been on a date ("with a girl," he says, hastily appending "...or a man") since then.