Bachelorette

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Ed's Dead, Baby. Ed's Dead.
Are we still in B.C.? Yay, we are! It's the morning after the Rose Ceremony debacle in which Jillian demanded to know who of the bachelors still have girlfriends, and nobody owned up to anything, which unfortunately means we have to listen to quavery-voiced Jillian talk about whether she can trust all the guys who are here. Don't look at us, Jillian. We're not the ones who think this is a good way to meet a life partner.

So now this show is going to defile Whistler, B.C., and Jillian thinks this is going to be even better than all the times she's had fun here before, because now she's got a group of great guys with her. Some or all of whom might have girlfriends, right? Or boyfriends, for that matter. Jillian greats the guy from some old-fashioned bridge, and the guys only have windbreakers on, but it doesn't look that cold, but all the guys are acting like it's Siberia or something, and Michael's so cold that he runs to greet Jillian but keeps his hands in his pockets while running, which was weird.

Jesse gives us the requisite "There are fewer guys here than last week, so there's more pressure and things are getting real" interview that is apparently required by law to be in the first five minutes of every episode. After talking about how he doesn't know if anyone has girlfriends or whatever, but he's more impressed by Jillian every day.

Robby says he's so into Jillian that he's getting jealous, and plus he's still mad that the stupid girlfriend scandal prevented him from getting any time with her. But the first one-on-one date is going to Michael ("Come fly with me," reads the card), who interviews that Whistler is beautiful, even more so now that his turn has finally come up in the one-on-one date rotation. He jokes with the other guys that they might as well go home and basically gets all obnoxious about it. "I'm telling you, you're going to see a whole new Mike. Everything's about to change," he says. So he packs his bags and gets ready for the date. He tells us that he honestly thinks he likes her the most of all the other guys in the house, and says he's got a big crush on her: "I could sit in a room with her and eat spaghetti, and I'm going to have a really good time tonight," he says, whatever that means.

Meanwhile, Jillian's still whining about last night and says Michael was almost one of the guys she let go last night, so she needs to see if there's a romantic connection there. Doesn't that answer her own question? This is what I don't understand about the show. Why not spend the one-on-one date with someone you know you like? Is it a requirement that you can't let someone do more than one one-on-one date? If it's happened before, I don't remember it, but at the end of every season I undergo hypnosis in order to repress traumatic memories of watching this stuff.

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Bachelorette

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