Bachelorette

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Ed's Dead, Baby. Ed's Dead.
Back at the other place, Michael and Jesse are trying to have a nice quiet romantic night for two when a date card arrives for Jesse: "It's time to break the ice," says Michael, who thinks they're going ice fishing, which he notes is far less cool than ziplining across mountains. "Maybe she's going to break up with you," he suggests. Back at the group date lodge, Jillian's talking to Reid, and she tells us they got off to a great physical start but a slower emotional start, and I would argue that all the emotional relationships on this show are functionally retarded, so I guess that I would agree. Reid tells Jillian that she's so cool and she smells good, like snow and flowers and gasoline, and then Jillian forgets what she was talking about, before remembering that she has talked about nothing else but who has girlfriends. Reid seems evasive at first, wondering if she really heard that from somebody, and then he says nobody has girlfriends, except for Mark, Wes, Jesse and Kiptyn. He himself has multiple girlfriends and two wives, and then they have a big laugh and kiss.

Back at the lodge, Ed sits down by a fire next to ... I think it's Jake? Who asks if he's had one-on-one time, and Ed says no, and he definitely wants to talk to Jillian, and Jake (?) asks if everything's OK, and Ed says no. Meanwhile, Jillian's telling us that she can't help but notice that Ed sometimes seems separate from the other guys.

So now Ed and Jillian are chatting, with her talking about what an awesome date they had. "But since then, I don't know how to read you." Ed tells her that he had a conference call with his boss this morning, and his boss has put a lot of pressure on him, and basically gave him an ultimatum. Ed tells us that his boss basically laid it out for him, like either you can have a job or you can be unemployed and go find love. Well, there's nothing women love more than a man with no job, right? Ed tells Jillian that she's exactly what he's looking for. Jillian says she doesn't want him to jeopardize anything for her, and if he had to go, she'd understand but she'd be really upset. Or, if you LIKE him, you bail on the show and date him. For god's sake. Ed tells us if she gives him some signs that he's got a shot, he's ready to give up his career for her, which may be one of the dumber things a contestant has said on this show, and that's including Dave's drunken ramblings last week about how great her ass looked, and how confused it made him when she didn't want to kiss him after he talked about her tits hanging out.

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Bachelorette

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