Bachelorette

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Ed's Dead, Baby. Ed's Dead.
And then Jillian totally puts more pressure on Ed by giving him the group date rose. "I know that tonight was a hard conversation for you," she says, and says it was also hard for her. How was it hard for you? She tells him that she's giving him the rose to let him know that she likes him and she wants him to stay (i.e. GIVE UP YOUR JOB, ED). Oh, and she also says "there's no pressure with this rose" and she grants Ed the permission to think about it for a couple of days and if he wants to give it back he can.

For some reason, this all makes Ed feel better. Ten percent shot at love! Woo! Kiptyn says he thought he'd get the rose after his one-on-one time. Jake says he thinks Jillian gave Ed the rose so he'd know she likes him and wants him to stay (which is brilliant, since THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID), but he doesn't think this economy is one that you want to get fired in, and he's doubtful that Ed will be around for the next rose ceremony.

So back in Whistler the next day, Jesse's getting ready for his date. He doesn't know what "break the ice" means yet, but after he meets up with her, she explains that they're going to take a plane and land on a glacier. "I love it," he says, like maybe he's going to pull a face and say that it sounds like a terrible idea.

So they fly over the majestic mountains, which Jillian calls the most romantic view she's ever seen in her life. "I think it's impossible for this experience not to bring us closer together," says Jesse. So they land on "this big, beautiful piece of ice," says Jillian. And there's not really anything to do but horse around and make snow angels. "I just love this so much! I'm so happy! I could play here all day!" says Jillian, and Jesse says he's never going to do something this incredible ever in his life, like ALL YOU'RE DOING IS PLAYING IN SNOW, JESSE, and then they are talking about connections, and Jesse tells her that regardless of what happens, he'll remember her for the rest of his life, which gave her butterflies, and I hate to tell her that would likely be true no matter who the bachelorette is. She tells us that being on the glacier is "prime real estate for falling in love," and I'd argue that if anything it's prime real estate for resorting to cannibalism. And then there's making out. Not that Jillian kisses every guy on the show or anything.

Then they write their names in the snow (not "yellow snow," as Jesse suggests,) and Jillian's impressed that Jesse wasn't too cool to make snow angels or play in the snow, like, THERE WASN'T ANYTHING ELSE TO DO, and then Jillian says she's getting fat, and Jesse says she has the body of a gymnast, and then the plane eventually takes them away and it turns out they didn't write their names but "J+J" in the snow, which I hate to tell them will be smoothed out by the wind an hour after they leave. Jillian calls this the most amazing day in both their lives, which makes me feel sorry for the two of them.

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Bachelorette

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