Bachelorette

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Ed's Dead, Baby. Ed's Dead.
So later it's time for their dinner, and Jillian says she was thinking about how she wanted to ask him questions tonight that were tougher than the ones she asked him during the day. She doesn't know if he's one of the ones with a girlfriend, but she knows she has to have that conversation with him.

Beside the fire, she says they were talking about how he recently broke up with his ex, and asks if he thinks it's too soon to get into another relationship, and then he takes a squirm-inducingly long time to start answering. He says he carried things on a little too long, even though he knew things couldn't work. "I needed to be selfish at that point in my life," he says, whatever the hell THAT'S supposed to mean. "Oh, sorry, honey. I just needed to be selfish." "Oh, that's cool!" Jillian asks if they still talk, and he says no, which Jillian says is "crazy!" and I'll tell you what's actually crazy: people who break up and then think they need to stay friends, which is the bullshit result of television shows like Beverly Hills 90210, which perpetuate this idea of staying friends with someone who dumped you but only because the casts of television shows can only get so big. Then again, if you're actually looking for healthy ways to build strong, lasting bonds of love, or how to maturely sever those bonds, you're probably not watching The Bachelorette. "I don't need to be as selfish now," says Jesse, like WHO NEEDS TO BE SELFISH? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Then she asks him where he sees himself at 35, and he talks about having a nice house and a wine bar and a wife and kids. She talks about wanting kids in the next few years, and asks if that scares him, and he says it doesn't, which she can't believe, and it's too bad that Jillian doesn't realize that it's probably a good idea if a man doesn't buy into stupid Maxim stereotypes of refusing to commit, and then he asks her about leaving Vancouver, and she babbles about wanting to put her life in someone else's hands for a change, and despite the fact that Jillian has talked non-stop over the season about how great it would be to have one of these hunky guys take care of her, Jesse raves about how independent she is. She's the total package, he tells us, and he even loves her voice, and all I can say is try watching her on television for two hours every week, and see if you still enjoy her slightly hoarse babbling after that. Jesus, he's even telling her that she could have a radio show and people could listen to her and fall asleep, and calls it "sweet, sexy and raspy," and to her credit, she can't believe anybody would find it sexy because it sounds like she's been drinking whiskey all her life. Heh. Jesse tells us it's "arousing," which is a little more information than I think anyone actually wanted.

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Bachelorette

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