Episode Report CardDaniel: D | Grade It Now!
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Back at the lodge, the guys are doing the traditional "slag off the potential relationship between the bachelorette and her current date" thing, and Ed kinda looks like hell and alludes to the problems that he's having and says he likes her a lot. "I could absolutely picture my life with Jillian," he tells her, and it's tough for him to know she's out getting to know someone else. Speaking of someone else, Jesse and Jillian are now getting into the hot tub, and Jillian can't believe where she went on her date, and who she was with, and Jesse says he thinks she would have had just as good a time with anybody else, which she denies, and he says he's trying to prove to her that he's the right one for her, and she pretends that all she cared about was having a good time there with him, and if she wanted someone else to experience it, that person would have been there with them. Yeah. Because the producers said to her, "For this date, you're going to play in the snow on a glacier. Who are you taking?" and Jillian actually factored in "glacier date" when picking who to go with. She came up with ten criteria, rated each criterion out of ten for every guy, totaled up the scores, and Jesse came up tops on glacier-date compatibility. He scored one-hundred percent! Then she gets up and goes and gets the rose and talks to him about what a great time they had, and he tells us that he's "glowing" and he's not going to be able to sleep tonight, and the two of them are making out in the hot tub. And so now we know that the clips of Jillian being really upset over some guy are not, as I think ABC has been trying to pretend, anything to do with Jason "Satan" Mesnick returning, or Jillian finally finding out that one of the guys definitely has a girlfriend, but is in fact Ed telling her that he has to leave. "Since we talked last, a lot of things have changed, and I just have to talk to her," he tells us. Jillian knocks on his door, and he invites her to "have a seat" on his couch, and he talks about how much he likes her, and alludes to how "some things have transpired," and he's talked to his boss, and he's not being fair to them, and he hems and haws and says he has to leave. He asks how she feels, and she says it sucks, but she understands, but she likes him, and it sucks, and she's tearful. She says it's good that they do this now instead of years later, or something. And I feel like the only way this scene is at all emotional is if you don't understand that these people are ADULTS WHO CAN DATE WHOMEVER THEY WANT REGARDLESS OF WHAT ABC WANTS FROM THEM. I mean, JESUS CHRIST. If you like him so much, Jillian, pursue a relationship with him and don't EXPECT HIM TO GET FIRED FOR YOU. God, this show makes me angry in a new way every season. Ed says he feels like he's letting her down, but he'd be letting "six or seven" people down if he didn't go back. So they hug, and then Ed goes and gets the rose, and says he wants to keep it. "What does that mean?" she says, and he says he just doesn't think anybody else should have it, and she says "fair enough" instead of "this is the stupidest fucking thing ever," and she makes him promise that when he finds the person he's crazy about to not let work get in the way. Hey, good advice, Jillian! How about this: if you find the one you're crazy about, don't let the stupidest goddamn television show in the history of television get in the way! How about that? And he sees her out the door, and she tells us, tearfully, that she was not ready to let Ed go, and by this point I was yelling "Then DON'T!" at the television and my wife and my daughter are starting to really worry about me. She says she wishes he'd thought about this before he came here. Yeah, he should have thought, "Gee, the bachelorette would probably expect me to get fired for her, so maybe I shouldn't do this." She tells us that she threw away everything she had to do this and she probably won't get it back, whatever that's supposed to mean.